


A Prayer For The Broken

by anneshathagay



Category: Glee
Genre: Child Abuse, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/F, Heavy Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Singing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2019-11-14 05:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18046223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneshathagay/pseuds/anneshathagay
Summary: Rachel was tired of all the abuse. She was tired of it at home. She was tired of it at school. Santana notices some changes in the girl but will she be able to pick up the pieces and fix her before it's too late?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a fic i started writing a long time ago and i've already posted a couple of chapters on ff.net but just never got around to finishing it so i'm gonna do this on here because i'm back on my glee bullshit. i hope you enjoy!!

Rachel Berry was tired of being abused everywhere she went. She was tired of everyone abandoning her. She was tired of getting heartbroken every time she trusted or cared for someone. She was tired of being laughed at. She was tired of no one noticing how much she was dying inside. She was tired of pretending she was okay and that nothing was wrong. But most of all, she was tired of being alone.

But then again, maybe she deserved it. She often wondered if her life falling apart was her fault. Shelby was all for meeting Rachel at first but rejected her the second she got to know her. Finn had never wanted her for her entirely. The only reason he stuck around for as long as he did was because of her voice. He made that pretty clear when he told her she freaked him out at first but he felt something when he heard her sing. Without the voice, he wouldn't have stuck around for a second after meeting her. It's not like she really cared. She played for a different team but never admitted it out of fear things would get worse for her at school. They were already bad enough.

The Glee club stuck around this long for the same reason Finn did; her voice. They only kept her around for competitions. They needed her to win. Even Mr. Schue _barely_ tolerated her. That club was supposed to be her family. It was supposed to be a safe place for anyone to confide in. Well, it was. Just not for her. Sure, she could be annoying at times but she actually had her reasons.

Besides, most members of the club have done worse things than her but always seem to forgiven and supported when they get harassed. But when it's her who's being picked on, they just add to the bullying.

The abuse at home started ever since her first year of high school. Hiram had always pressured her way too much to do better before but Leroy was always there to balance things out. At the beginning of Rachel's freshman year, Leroy noticed how mature she had become and figured she could take care of herself. That's why he started working more and that's when Hiram started abusing her. He pushed her even more since Leroy wasn't around much to stop it. He made her promise to keep her mouth shut or else she'd regret it.

Hiram just wanted her to be the perfect little daughter who would do whatever it took to be a star. She was only allowed to date boys he approved of because he didn't think she had earned the right to date whoever she wanted yet. When she asked if she could date girls, he told her she wasn't allowed to because she didn't deserve it. When she asked him if she could be with Puck, he refused because he thought he was a bad influence. That's why she broke up with him during sophomore year. Finn was the first guy he approved of and things didn’t go so well when they broke up. That's why Rachel was so desperate to get him back.

It was all verbal abuse until they lost their first Regionals. What was on her mind after the competition wasn't the fact she failed to stick it to Jesse. It was what her father was going to do to her after he roughly yanked her by the arm out of the car when they got home. He could whatever he wanted without having to worry about Leroy coming home because he was on a business trip. As she lied in bed the last day of summer before her senior year, she closed her eyes and thought back to that unfortunate day.

* * *

_Hiram opened the door to the house before aggressively shoving Rachel to the floor. She hit the ground with a thud, not crying out in pain just in case it angered her father even more._

_"What the hell was that?" he shouted angrily._

_"I-I'm s-sorry. I t-tried my best." she answered in a voice barely above a whisper._

_"Your best isn't good enough!" he yelled back before kicking her in the stomach. Rachel cried out in pain as tears already started to well up in her eyes. "Don't you even dare shed a tear! I should be the one crying after your pathetic performance out there!" he mentioned before continuing the same process as before, each kick worse than the next ._

_Rachel bit her lips to prevent herself from crying out again and struggled to hold back tears. "I sign you up for singing lessons and dancing lessons and this is how you repay me?" he said before delivering his last kick._

_She heard footsteps walking away from her before sighing in relief. She composed herself before beginning to slowly get back on her feet. Once she did, she clutched her aching stomach. She was sure she would wake up with a bruise the next day. She was about to walk up the stairs back to her room until she heard footsteps and froze when she heard her name being called out by someone she was too tired to deal with anymore today._

_"Rachel! Where do you think you're going?"_

_All of her instincts were just yelling at her to run away and never come back but she couldn't bring herself to move once she heard her father's voice. She slowly started to turn his way, too afraid of the consequences if she ignored him._

_Once she was face to face with him, she felt her heart stop when she caught sight of the belt in his hand. She closed her eyes and prepared herself for the painful blow._

_Hiram lifted the belt up and smacked her on the side with it. Rachel didn't have time to fully register the amount of pain that caused her as she instantly fell and knocked her head on the edge of a table. She felt unconsciousness slowly take over but she heard her father say something before everything went black._

_"You're always going to be a failure."_

* * *

Rachel didn't notice the tears leaking out of her eyes until she opened them. She thought back to how she woke up a few hours later on the floor that day and had to crawl her way to the bedroom.

She could never forget those last words. The worst part was that after everything that had happened to her over the years, she believed them to be be true.

That was the first time her father had beaten her. She had to hide the abuse she was going through at home when she went to school but she didn't think anyone would really care if they found out. They would probably praise her father or make things worse.

She didn't think things could get worse anyway. That was until Leroy died over the summer in a restaurant shooting where he tried to protect Rachel. Hiram blamed her for his death and the beatings and insults just got worse from there on out.

It was time to start her senior year. How the hell would she be able to hide everything now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> future chapters will be longer than this considering it's just the introduction and a look into rachel's life. updates will most likely be frequent for now since i already have 15 chapters written. leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter, we have santana come in and start to notice something wrong with rachel's behavior after an interaction with her.

Rachel woke up to the sound of her alarm and almost instantly jumped out of bed. She figured she wouldn't have to deal with her father if she managed to get ready earlier and skipped breakfast altogether.

She wouldn't eat anything unless he allowed her to anyway. He always pointed out she had to not only sound but look the best that she could and that sometimes meant starving herself.

She quickly put on the first thing she spotted in her closet. An animal sweater, a plaid skirt, socks that reached her knees along with black tap shoes. She hated her wardrobe but Hiram didn't think she should have to decide what to wear. Her clothes were just a slap in the face that got here into even more trouble at school.

She looked at herself in the mirror before noticing some bruises were visible on her face due to the beating her father gave her the night before. She sighed because covering them up was going to take a while and that meant less a chance of leaving the house before her father gets up.

Once she was satisfied that the makeup had made the black eye and the hand shaped bruise on her cheek practically invisible, she grabbed her bag and hurried down the stairs.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she was sent knee first to the floor. She cursed herself for being so clumsy before looking up and realizing it was actually her father who had tripped her. Hiram chuckled to himself and bent down to whisper in his daughter's ear. "Be a good girl today." Rachel couldn't do anything but nod.

She quickly got back on her feet and thank god she was close to the door because if her father saw her limping to get there, she would never have heard the end of it.

As soon as Rachel got in her car and slammed the door shut, she collapsed in the driver's seat and finally allowed the sobs she had been holding back for so long wrack her entire trembling body. After a few minutes of getting her frustrations out, she started up her car after applying another layer of makeup just in case anything was visible due to the tears.

If only she knew a certain Latina had assisted to the whole scene.

Santana wasn't expecting to see Rachel in a state like that. The smaller girl usually always had a smile on her face and was probably the most enthusiastic person on earth. Sure, it could be annoying at times but still. She used to be the only person excited for the first day of school but there she was, crying her eyes out in the car.

Santana quickly shook it off and drove off a few seconds before Rachel managed to calm down.

* * *

Every student down the hall parted like the red sea as Santana walked into the school in her cheerios uniform. She was glad to be back on the squad with Quinn and Brittany. It made the whole student body slightly wearier of them. Not that she needed the uniform to put fear in people's eyes though.

Last year out of her uniform had been hell and she finally felt firsthand what her fellow glee club members had to go through long before she did. That's why she made a promise to be slightly less bitchy to people. Well, unless they deserved it.

Santana caught sight of Brittany waving and smiling as she stood by her locker.

She hadn't spoken to her best friend all summer. Actually, she had barely spoken to Brittany ever since the blonde had picked Artie over her. The Latina couldn't handle rejection very well.

She approached Brittany with a smile. Santana wasn't going to resent her anymore. She just had to move on because this silliness was affecting their friendship.

"Santana! I missed you so much!" Brittany said in a overly enthusiastic tone before enveloping Santana in a very tight hug.

"I-I missed you too but… B-Britt, I need to breathe."

Brittany quickly released the hold she had on her best friend.

Santana had to bite back a laugh at the guilty look on her best friend's face. Oh, how she had missed simple moments like being caught in one of Brittany's bear hugs.

They started walking down the hallway together but stopped when they crossed paths with Finn and Quinn.

"Quinn!" Brittany yelled out but was stopped by a rather smiling Quinn before she could hug her.

"Brittany, I missed you but you are not suffocating me this year." Quinn answered back as Brittany had to stop herself from leaping into the air and tackling the blonde to hug her.

"So, has anyone seen Rachel today?" Santana asked.

Her question was met with confused looks until Finn spoke up.

"No, but why would you care?"

"Oh, I don't. I just…" Santana bit her bottom lip as she contemplated telling them what she had seen today. Finally, she decided against it. "Never mind."

Believe it or not, she figured Rachel wouldn't want that much attention on her and if she told her friends, the news would spread around the school faster than wildfire.

 _Wait, what? Since when do I care about what happens to man hands? I mean, sure, she isn't as annoying as everyone makes her to be and she's one of the only people at this school besides me who isn't afraid to be vocal about what she thinks but still. Must be because I'm trying to be nicer to people. That has to be it._ That wasn't it.

Quinn and Brittany noticed there was something Santana wasn't telling them. They could read their friend like a book but they decided to keep their mouths shut. For now.

The bell rang and Finn kissed Quinn on the cheek before walking off to class. Considering the three girls shared their first class, they decided to walk there together.

Before they knew it, a speeding figure covered in red colored slush collided with Santana, causing the Latina to stumble back a few steps. She prepared herself to go all Lima Heights on the unknown person until she saw who it was.

"Rachel?"

"I-I'm s-sorry." Rachel stuttered in a very low and hoarse voice before running off - limping for the most part - to the restroom with tears visible in her eyes.

"Santana?" Quinn and Brittany's voices broke Santana out of her trance.

"You guys can go without me. I-I'll be right back." Santana said before speeding off after Rachel.

* * *

As soon as Santana entered the restroom, her eyes fell on a teary eyed Rachel, clutching one of the sinks.

Some freshman girls were seen snickering and laughing in the back until the cheerio shot them a death glare, making them quickly scatter out the door.

Santana grabbed a tissue and went to clean the sticky liquid off of Rachel.

"Let me help you with that."

At that moment, Rachel flinched and backed away, almost on instinct.

"I don't need any help." the diva answered back in a very quivery voice.

"Look at me."

"I'm not-"

"Look. At. Me."

"You can't-"

"Berry. Now."

Rachel slowly lifted her head up to meet Santana's line of sight. The Latina's eyes widened once her eyes fell the black eye and the hand shaped bruise on the girl’s tear stained cheek.

"Who did this?" Rachel flinched at Santana's tone but eventually composed herself.

"N-No one. I t-tripped and f-fell face first." Rachel stuttered.

Okay, maybe she hadn't fully composed herself.

"Bullshit, Rachel."

"It's the truth."

"Is that why the bruise on your cheek is hand shaped?"

"Since when do you care anyway?" Rachel wanted to yell but her tone was just slightly higher than usual.

"I just…"

Santana was at a loss for words. She really didn't know.

"Exactly."

"Look, Rachel, that doesn't matter. What really happened?"

"Please, Santana, just… Just let it go." begged Rachel, the emotion clear in her voice.

Santana wanted to protest but when she looked straight into those pleading eyes, she couldn't bring herself to move once Rachel started walking away from her.

By the time she snapped out of it, it was too late. Rachel was gone.

"Dammit.”

Rachel was running as fast as she could to her car just in case Santana decided to follow her.

 _Why would she care about me? Why would anyone?_ _It's probably just for another prank just to humiliate me. I don't need that right now. But… maybe I deserve it._

Tears threatened to spill over as Rachel drove back home but she kept them at bay. Once she arrived, she was about to go upstairs to her bedroom until she heard a voice that made her blood run cold.

"Welcome home."

* * *

Santana wouldn't speak to anyone all day because she was worried for a reason she didn't quite understand. She just had a bad feeling in her stomach.

_Why would Rachel just take off like that? Where is she?_

Quinn and Brittany tried talking to her but the Latina just blocked them out.

_Whatever. Rachel's probably just being dramatic as usual. I'm overreacting. She'll definitely turn up for Glee later._

But then, she didn't. That was when Santana really started to get worried. Rachel had never missed Glee practice before. Let alone the first one of the year.

Something was seriously wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to leave a trigger warning here for non-graphic description of rape in this chapter. if it could possibly bother or even trigger you, feel free to skip over the bit where rachel has a flashback to the night before when her father beat her.

Rachel's head was pounding relentlessly by the time she came to her senses. It pained her to even lift her head up from the living room floor. She couldn't bear even attempting to stand up. She was content with crawling her away to her bedroom upstairs. It's not like it was the first time.

All she wanted to do was get some rest after… No, it was too horrible to even remember.

Before she could even begin her climb, she heard a door slam shut and footsteps making their way towards the staircase.

_Oh god. Why now?_

Hiram stood at the top of the stairs before stomping his way towards her. She could feel the anger radiating off of him but still hoped he would take pity on her for once in his life.

Of course, that wasn't going to happen.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school? It's 10 o'clock!" he pointed out before literally walking over her back and head to the kitchen.

Rachel let out a low gasp in pain before quickly getting her bearings back, using everything she had to pull herself up before grabbing her back and heading out, too afraid of facing her father's fury if she stayed a moment longer in that house.

She had faced enough of that the day before after all.

She quickly looked at herself in the rear view mirror when she got in the car. Thankfully, her father hadn't left any new bruises this time. That didn't mean the beating wasn't brutal though. Her stomach was aching and her head was pounding. She even felt pain in between her thighs.

Before she could remember what had transpired the day before, she applied some makeup to cover up the black eye that was now throbbing and the hand shaped bruise which sure took its sweet time to heal and fade away.

She checked her phone and noticed a certain cheerio had left her about 4 missed calls. Rachel planned on avoiding Santana all day. She wasn't ready to face her after their encounter. Especially since she had been knocked out cold on the living room floor ever since her father… Never mind.

* * *

Santana had been worried ever since Rachel didn't show up for the first Glee practice of their senior year. She tried to call her on numerous occasions only to have it go straight to voicemail. She didn't know why she was suddenly getting all worked up about the diva.

The Latina didn't even hesitate to call her by her first name which didn't happen that often.

Sure, Rachel was acting strange. Well, stranger than usual at least. But she was Santana Lopez. She didn't care about anything or anyone. Certainly not about Rachel Berry. But this. This was different. She didn't know why but it just was and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

Then, Rachel didn't show up for school. Santana didn't know what to do anymore at this point. Not coming to Glee was one thing but skipping school altogether was so much worse.

Relief washed over Santana when she saw Rachel making her way down halls. She tried to talk to her but the short brunette just ignored her and kept walking.

"What's going on with you and Berry?"

Santana turned around to find Quinn and Brittany standing in front of her, waiting for an answer.

"What? Nothing. Why would anything be going on between me and Ra- Berry?"

Santana hoped her friends wouldn't notice her mistake… but they did.

"Why have you been ignoring us since yesterday then? Not to mention it was after you ran off after her. What happened?"

Quinn wanted to get to the bottom of this. Brittany just wanted her best friend back.

"Haven't you noticed anything off with her?"

Santana still tried to wrap her head around the fact she was the only one who cared for whatever reason.

"She's probably being a sad sop because she's still not over Finn."

Quinn knew that wasn't it but she didn't want anyone to find out she had been also wondering what was up with the usually outspoken girl. 

"So… you have noticed?"

"Do you want me to say it out loud? Yes. I have. It's pretty obvious but I don't get why we're supposed to care or do something about it?"

"It's because Santana likes Rachel."

Both Quinn and Santana whipped their heads towards Brittany, giving her a questioning look.

"W-What are you talking about, Britt?"

Santana had been avoiding that particular reason.

"I’m not the smartest person at school, but I am smart when it comes to feelings and stuff. My parents wouldn't have let me keep Lord Tubbington if I wasn't."

The two girls knew that but they never imagined anything like this.

"Santana's right anyway. We need to figure out what's wrong with Rachel. It's pretty obvious Santana likes her, at least as a friend. She wouldn't be so worked up about this if she didn't like her. I don't like seeing other people sad and Rachel is one of the only people here who's never been mean to me. Oh, and Quinn likes her too."

"Wait, what?"

"Not in that way, but it's clear you’ve wanted to be friends with her ever since we joined Glee club. She’s always been by your side even when you pushed her away. So, it's time you return the favor and be honest. You owe her at least that."

Quinn and Santana turned to each other as confused looks morphed into smiles.

"Okay, fine. I'm in. Right after Glee practice today, we talk to Be- Rachel and figure out what's up with her."

Brittany jumped up and down while enthusiastically clapping her hands before enveloping her two best friends in a hug.

Santana bit her lower lip, still unsure about whether she should tell her friends about what she saw yesterday.

_No, this might have nothing to do with why she's been acting differently lately._

If only she knew how wrong she were.

_I won't tell them until I'm sure._

* * *

The day had passed by in a flash with no signs of Rachel.

When it was time for Glee practice, the three cheerleaders entered the choir room and sat next to each other in the front row. Quinn was next to Finn, Brittany was next to Artie and Santana was in the middle of her two friends.

They were thrown off guard by the fact Rachel was the only who hadn't shown up yet.

10 minutes later or so, Rachel walked in with her head held down and took a seat in the back row. She knew she would have to go back to her former self at some point so that no one else gets suspicious - Santana having been enough for her - and so that her father would get off her back.

Santana, Quinn and Brittany were glad Rachel decided to even show up at all. Better late than never. But her attitude lately has been so un-Rachel-like. Why would she sit in the back row and distance herself from everyone else?

The three girls were snapped out of their thoughts when Mr. Schue entered the room with high spirits, clapping his hands before speaking. "Alright, I'd like to…"

Rachel wasn't really listening. She zoned out completely and was off in her own world.

* * *

_"Welcome home."_

_Rachel's eyes widened at the sight of her father with a bat in hand. She remembered that bat. It was Leroy's good luck charm when he was on the baseball team as a kid. That object was going to bring her anything but luck this time._

_Hiram didn't even hesitate before swinging the object at his daughter's stomach, knocking the wind right out of her. Rachel stumbled back while clutching the damaged body part as she bent down, desperately trying to take deep breaths and get her bearings back._

_"You're supposed to be at school! What the hell do you think you're doing coming back here, huh?!"_

_Rachel couldn't tell him. It would make things worse. As a result, she kept her mouth shut._

_Hiram took another swing at her when he got no answer but that time, her head was on the receiving end of the impactful blow._

_Rachel collapsed to the floor, begging for her head to stop pounding. She wanted to slip away into unconsciousness. She just wanted this to be over. Hell, on some days, she even wanted to die. She asked herself what would've happened if she had just stuck around and let Santana help her. After all, there was that one time where she… No, her father could never find out about that._

_Suddenly, Rachel felt a breeze of cool air on her thighs as Hiram lowered her skirt before removing his belt and undoing his pants, getting on his knees in front of his broken daughter. Rachel knew what was coming next._

_"Please don't…"_

_"Shut your mouth!"_

_It was the most painful thing he could ever do to her. And that's the only thing she felt for the next hour; pain. She had her eyes closed as he repeatedly thrusted into her. She wasn't allowed to cry out but that doesn't mean she wasn't silently crying to herself._

_A few minutes later, everything went black._

* * *

"Rachel?"

That was the first thing Rachel heard Mr. Schue say once she came back to her senses. The whole room had their eyes on her. Although she made it seem as though she loved attention, she really didn't and especially not this kind.

"Yes, Mr. Schue?"

"Look, Rachel. You can't just pretend like you didn't hear what I said just because I announced that Mercedes is going to be the lead soloist at Sectionals. You should learn to be happy for your teammates and not only think about what's in it for you."

Rachel had a look of confusion on her face. Even when she would do nothing wrong, she’d still get attacked.

 _My Teammates. Not my friends. Noted._  

Santana glared at the clueless teacher while Quinn merely rolled her eyes and Brittany looked just as confused as the person targeted.

The rest of the room stared intently at Rachel, expecting her to throw one of the tantrums she's so famous for and storm out.

"I'm sorry." The entire club sent her confused looks. "Congratulations, Mercedes. I'm really happy for. You deserve it."

Although Rachel was happy to see her fellow Glee club members get their shot, she knew what that meant for her back at home.

"Oh, drop the act." Kurt said.

"Yeah, no one's buying that." Mercedes pointed out.

"And you wonder why I wouldn't take you back." Finn added as Quinn nudged his shoulder.

Santana, Quinn and Brittany exchanged looks. They had never noticed exactly how much the Glee club targeted Rachel until now.  

But they knew that wasn't what was making her act this way. The club's 'let’s hate on Rachel Berry for no good reason’ fest wasn't anything new. Something much worse was wrong.

Santana noticed the only other person who was bothered by that was Puck. He had clearly always had a soft spot for Rachel.

"Alright. Enough, guys. It's time to rehearse our dance routine."

But something caught Santana's eye while they were rehearsing; Rachel seemed to be stumbling a bit and often clutched her stomach. It was like she couldn't even seem to focus on the one thing that everyone knew truly brought her joy.

Before she knew it, Rachel was slumped onto the floor.

As soon as Rachel fainted, Santana rushed to her side and the first thing she did was check for a pulse just in case. The Latina sighed in relief when she found one and it was at that moment she noticed everyone was surrounding her and the unconscious diva.

Quinn, Brittany and even Puck had the most worry and concern in their eyes, but Santana was clearly panicking the most as she started to shake Rachel in an attempt to wake her up.

"C'mon, Rachel. Wake up!"

"Someone should take her to the nurse." Mr. Schue pointed out.

Puck, Quinn and Brittany helped Santana pull Rachel up.

"You guys can stay here. Puck and I will take her." Santana said before receiving nods on Quinn and Brittany’s parts in return.

And as soon as Santana and Puck got Rachel to the nurse, the Latina spoke up.

"You can go back to the choir room. I'll stay here until she wakes up."

"You sure?”

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Puck nodded before walking away as Santana sat on a chair next to Rachel's bed in the nurse's office.

* * *

_The Berry family was enjoying a nice dinner at Breadstix to celebrate New Directions' efforts at Nationals in New York, obviously being Leroy's idea and Hiram can't say no to him even though he hated the idea of rewarding Rachel for her "efforts" when she lost._

_Suddenly, a man with a black ski mask on busted through the restaurant doors and pointed his gun at Rachel._

_The girl's eyes widened as she jumped to her feet._

_This was it. She was never going to win Nationals with her fellow Glee club members. She was never going to make it big on Broadway. She was never going to tell Santana… Wait, no, scratch that last part._

_It was all over for her._

_She closed her eyes as the shot was fired. She momentarily wondered why she didn't feel anything._

_That was until she opened her eyes only to find Leroy on the floor with his eyes closed and a bullet wound in his chest._

_The masked man fled the scenes as she collapsed to the floor next to her dying father, tears welling up in her eyes._

_"Why did you do that?" Rachel asked, her voice filled with emotion._

_"I c-couldn't bear to see you d-die. You have so many things left to do. So many places left to go. You're going to be a star. I… I love you. Make me proud." Leroy's flickered shut as Rachel went into panic mode._

_"No, no, no… You can't leave me with-"_

_Before Rachel could even finish her sentence, her mouth and screams were muffled by Hiram's hand as he pulled her away._

_The night wasn't over for her just yet._

* * *

Rachel slowly started to open her eyes.

Her vision was slightly blurry but clear enough to tell that she was in the nurse's office and that Santana was sitting in a chair next to her, her head in her hands.

That was when recent events started coming back to her.

* * *

_Nothing could've compared to the pain Rachel was feeling._

_She wanted to be excused from dancing but what was supposed to be her excuse? "Can I be excused because my father beat me with a bat and raped me yesterday?" No way. That would get her into even more trouble if that was possible and it would make Santana even more suspicious._

_She kept messing up the routine but she didn't care because no one noticed… or so she thought._

_In the end, the pain was too much for her to withstand. Everything was going black and she was getting slightly dizzy._

_The last thing she remembers is watching Santana run towards her on the floor as she struggled to keep her eyes open._

_And then she closed them._

* * *

"Hey."

Rachel was broken out of her thoughts by Santana's surprisingly soothing voice. She didn't know what it was about her voice that calmed her but thank god it did. It also helped that Santana was holding her hand tightly which would’ve bothered her under other circumstances.

"Hi."

She just hoped the Latina would be kind enough not to start asking questions. Especially not now.

Unfortunately for Rachel, Santana had other ideas.

"So-"

Before Santana could even say anything else, the nurse entered the room.

_When will I ever get to talk to her?_

"Oh, thank god you're awake, Rachel. Your father's here to take you home."

Rachel's eyes widened as her father entered the room. She stiffened her hold on the cheerio's hand. The alarmed look on her face just confused Santana.

"Ready to go home, sweetie?" Hiram asked as he put on his best fake smile.

"Y-Yes, father." Rachel answered with a hesitant look on her face and a hesitant tone, her voice cracking once she spoke.

When Hiram grabbed her hand and led her off the bed, Rachel wanted to squirm so badly.

As the pair walked out of the nurse's office, Santana stood up and waved goodbye with a smile on her face. Rachel turned around to look back at the Latina.

_Please save me._

The look on her face seemed almost desperate. Santana couldn't help but furrow her eyebrows in confusion when she noticed.

_Please understand._

Rachel lost all hope as she turned around; admitting to herself that that might have been the last time she'd ever get to see Santana again.

_Please._

Santana tried to work out in her mind why Rachel looked so alarmed when her father appeared.

Her eyes widened as realization suddenly dawned upon her when she noticed how incredibly strong - maybe even harmful - the grip that Hiram had on Rachel was.

_Oh crap._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! feedback is really helpful and it would motivate me to write more content if you like what i put out. next chapter is when things really start to kick off with santana paying the berry residence a visit and piecing together what rachel's home life must be like.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda graphic?? not exactly but if you get easily put off by mentions of blood or descriptions of injuries then this probably isn't for you.

Santana mentally smacked herself for not saying anything.

_How could I be so stupid?_

She quickly fished her phone out of her pocket and typed out a text message to Quinn as she rushed to reach her car in the parking lot.

* * *

Quinn was pacing nervously in the choir room.

If something were to happen to Rachel before she even had the chance to apologize for the way she had been treating her over the years, she would never be able to forgive herself.

Her phone suddenly vibrated in her pocket, and in a split second, as if they could detect it was from Santana, Brittany and Puck were by Quinn's side, reading the text message.

 _Make up an excuse to get me out of coming back to practice. I'll explain later._ – Santana.

After not even a second to think, Quinn came up with the most reasonable excuse that she hoped Brittany and Puck would just play along with.

"Mr. Schue, Santana won't be coming back today. She has to take Rachel home because she's too sick to drive."

"Why won't one of her dads come pick her up?" The teacher questioned

"They… Well…"

"They're too busy with work!" Brittany interrupted.

"Yeah, they can't seem to get out of it." Puck added.

Brittany sent Quinn a subtle wink as Puck gave her one of his signature half smirks he thought helped charm ladies.

Quinn asked herself what she had ever done to deserve friends like them.

* * *

Santana's heart was beating rapidly in her chest as she broke almost every rule of the law to get to Rachel's house as fast as she could.

She hoped she was wrong. She wanted to be wrong. One small part of her was expecting to arrive at the Berry household and see that everything was perfectly normal. Although, an even bigger part of her was expecting the absolute worst.

Santana pulled over and parked her car in the empty driveway as soon as she got there in record time. She quickly ran up to the front porch, worried that if she were a second late that it might not end so well.

She was expecting to find the door closed but relief washed over her when she saw that it was slightly open, causing her to slowly push open the door as it let out a low creaking noise.

"Rachel?" Nothing. Santana began walking around in the house but the only thing she could hear was the sound of her own footsteps. So, she tried again. "Rachel? Are you here?" She let out a sigh in frustration.

She walked into the living room and in that moment, Santana realized spotting Rachel Berry in a pool of her own blood was forever going to be etched into her memory.

As soon as she composed herself, Santana rushed to Rachel's side before placing her battered body on her lap. She felt her heart drop to her stomach as she took in her appearance. She almost didn't even recognize her.

Rachel's skin had sunken in tone to something so lifeless it scared the Latina. The small girl seemed to have suffered more pain than she knew a human body could bear and it broke Santana to see the brunette hurting this way. Her entire body beared congealed blood and her clothes were an utter mess. Her black eye looked even worse than before if possible and even more bruises were already starting to take formation upon her facial features.

Santana's eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears.

As she blinked, they dripped from her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth. Her lower lip quivered as a name slowly made its way out of her mouth.

"Rachel…" Santana began, yet what followed was engulfed in the tremors.

A few moments later, Rachel's eyes started to flutter open which immediately caught Santana's attention, causing the Latina to quickly wipe away her tears.

The diva looked as if she could drift off into unconsciousness at any moment and it was clear as day that she was struggling to stay awake. Drowsy, dazed and confused but awake. Then she tried to say the cheerio's name, her voice cracking, failing at the first syllable.

"San…"

"It's okay, it's okay. I've got you now."

"Please don't let go… Please don't leave me…"

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

It was as if Santana could sense the panic already building up within Rachel.

In an attempt to temporarily calm her down, she cupped her cheek in her hand before bending down and placing a kiss on the burdened girl's forehead. Rachel's lips twitched for a moment. The small girl wanted to smile until it all came back to her.

The pain throbbed in her guts, it was deep and warm, but not in a nice way. It felt like someone had their hand in there and was squeezing her organs as hard as they could. When it waned, she could move, only barely. When it returned, she could only hold still and breathe, breathe slow and deep until it passes.

There was blood everywhere, especially coming from her stomach wound, and her abdomen was purple and lumpy where it should be smooth.

Even the slightest of movements felt like a nail bomb exploding in her innards. If it wasn't for Santana coming for her and holding her, she would’ve curled right up there on the floor and let the pain take her away to the next life.

"Everything hurts…"

Santana mentally smacked herself for the second time of the day for not doing what she should've as soon as she got there. She was so wrapped up in making sure Rachel was okay that she didn't even take a second to get help.

So, Santana removed her cheerios jacket and placed it on her stomach, applying pressure to the wound in order to stop the blood. Rachel winced at that and bit her bottom lip. Santana pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed her father's number.

Being one of the best doctors in Lima's daughter had its perks. He answered on the third ring.

"Hello, sweetie."

"Dad, I need you to get an ambulance out to the Berry house now."

Antonio furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as soon as he heard his daughter's voice trembling which he was clearly unfamiliar with.

Then again, who wasn't?

"Santana, what's wrong?"

"Just… Do it."

Santana hung up and zoned out for a moment.

Rachel and Santana hadn’t always seen eye to eye, she thought, but then the Latina remembered what Brittany had said.

_Santana likes Rachel._

It wasn't all that crazy. She had liked Rachel for a while now but was too afraid to admit it out of fear of rejection.

What was she supposed to say anyway? "I really like you even though I've been making your life a living hell for the past couple of years because I'm too afraid to deal with my own feelings." It didn't make any sense. But then again, you can't help who you fall in love with.

After processing the whole complicity of the situation, Santana looked down at Rachel who was still clearly struggling to stay awake and was slowly dozing off.

She knew the small girl wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and go to sleep but Santana could _not_ , under any circumstances, risk losing her.

So, she shook her.

"Rachel, you have to stay awake."

"I can't…"

"You have to. The ambulance is on its way."

"I… I'm so tired."

As Rachel's head lolled onto Santana's lap, her eyelids finally slipped closed. The rest of her slowly leaned into the cheerio, her body going limp.

Without the complex workings of her conscious mind, she looked so vulnerable and childlike. The expression on her face no longer stressed but relaxed. Her eyelids fluttered, but she seemed too out of it to notice.

Santana's eyes momentarily widened at the sight.

Her nerves were frayed to the quick. In her building anxiety, she constructed elaborate rationalizations for why everything would turn out alright, something Rachel would do, but still, the nagging voice in the back of her mind spoke of nothing but doom ahead.

She checked for a pulse. She found one but it was at an incredibly slow pace and it seemed to be slowly fading away.

Santana sobbed into the weak girl's chest unceasingly, hands clutching at her sweater. She held her in silence, rocking her slowly as her tears soaked her chest. A tiny lapse let her pull away, blinking lashes heavy with tears, before she collapsed again, her howls of misery worsening.

The pain must have come in waves; minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling him back into the outstretched arms of her possible grief.

This was it. She was never going to have the chance to admit to Rachel her feelings. Well, not exactly. She knew the small girl wouldn't hear her but she still went for it.

Better too late than never, right?

"I… I think I love you.”

The sound of the ambulance's siren jolted her out of her mopping.

Santana’s heart jumped into her throat as her brain registered the meaning of the jarring racket. She hesitated at first, but she released the hold she had on Rachel as she slowly but eventually reached her feet and head outside.

She couldn't hear the ambulance anymore. She could only make out its blurred shape through her bloodshot, puffy, crying eyes. Santana stared at it before looking back at Rachel to see the life drain out of her. The girl was just so pale and limp.

As a pair of strong hands pulled the Latina back into the blinding light of the ambulance, she barely moved. Rachel's body was then channeled onto a stretcher and into the ambulance with Santana.

The van stank slightly like chemicals. It numbed Santana’s nose and choked her, as her eyes never left Rachel's body, lying on the crisp white sheets that crinkled beneath her. She clung to them like she would to the seemingly lifeless body before her.

The drips and beds rattled as the van sped off to the hospital. The cheerio shook in her seat as she watched Rachel's feet float across the speckled ambulance floor, her body illuminated by the red and blue lights.

_Hurry._

* * *

The paramedics quickly parked the van in the employee parking lot of the hospital and took Rachel out.

They hurried through the double doors, the wheels of the stretcher and her own pounding footsteps the only thing Santana could hear.

"Santana, you cannot follow them." her father said, stopping her dead in her tracks.

Santana’s heart sank into her chest as the stretcher disappeared from her view.

"Why?" was all she could choke out, as her mind filled with a succession of horrible outcomes, each worse than the last.

"You must wait in the waiting room like everybody else." her father answered. "Don't worry. We'll take care of your friend." Antonio added after sensing his daughter's distress and uncertainty.

Santana gave her father a hesitant nod before sitting dejectedly in one of the hard plastic chairs in the waiting room.

She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and shakily typed out a brief text message to Quinn.

* * *

Practice had just ended when Quinn felt her phone vibrate.

She was so tired that she had completely forgotten about recent events, but she was quickly reminded as her eyes widened in horror as she read and re-read the text message multiple times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

Brittany and Puck were just about to leave the room when Quinn walked up to them with an alarmed look on her face.

"What's up with you? You look like you just saw ghost." Puck said in a confused tone.

"We have to go to the hospital. Now." Quinn answered in a voice as alarmed as her facial expression.

"Why?" a still confused Brittany asked

Quinn showed Brittany and Puck the text message Santana had sent her.

They had a similar reaction to the other blonde cheerleader as they read…

 _Get your asses to the hospital. Now._ – Santana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! in the next chapter, quinn arrives at the hospital with brittany and puck to meet up with santana and they get filled in on what happened to rachel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is heavy emotionally so expect to have your heart ripped out. enjoy!!

Pacing right and left as if determined to leave a thin trail on the floor, Santana stared down at her own socked feet.

Her eyes were large and watery and as she paced, she constantly punched one hand into the other. She soon sat back down in an attempt to calm herself.

Didn't work.

Cold sweat glistened on her furrowed brow. With hands clasped tightly in front of her stomach, she constantly fiddled with her knuckles, weaving her fingers in and out of each other.

As soon as she spotted her three close friends making their way towards her, Santana propelled herself out of her seat to give Quinn a hug - which the blonde wasn't used to getting from the Latina - so she returned her embrace tightly, figuring her friend could need the comfort before she started asking questions regarding the situation.

Judging by the blood on her hands, it was bad.

"What happened?" Brittany asked as soon as Santana went over to hug her.

Puck just stood by awkwardly next to them. He knew he wasn't getting a hug. Santana never gives him a hug.

Suddenly, he felt arms wrapping themselves around him while clutching his shirt. He didn't even care that she was leaving blood stains on it. He was happy to be there for one of his closest friends after the traumatic event she seems to have gone through.

When Santana pulled out, she stifled a sob and began telling them about the events that had led to that point.

Everything from seeing Rachel cry in her car to noticing the bruises on her face in the bathroom. She talked about how much the small girl seemed to be panicking when her father walked in and how she found her lying in a pool of her own blood at her house.

Santana, of course, left out the part where she was being all sentimental and skipped right to how Rachel became unresponsive.

"I swear; when I get my hands on that bastard, he's gonna wish he never hurt her. Hell, he's gonna wish he was never even born!" Puck said in an angry tone.

"But what if it's not him?" Brittany cluelessly asked.

"It has to be him!" Santana snapped, the day's events finally catching up to her.

The Latina didn't even know how she managed to control her voice. Quinn and Puck looked shell shocked.

Santana never snaps at Brittany. Ever.

"Wait, how long has this been going on for?" Quinn asked.

"I… I don't know." Santana answered in a relatively calm tone as she sat back down on one of the hard plastic chairs.

"You think that's why she's been acting different lately?" They all gave Puck questioning looks as he asked. "What? I notice things!"

"Y-Yeah, I guess it is. I don't think there's something else that would bother her this much." Santana replied.

The four of them were sitting on chairs as they waited to hear back from Santana's father for news on Rachel's condition.

Something scared Quinn, though, and it wasn't just the situation. What scared her was how Santana was masking her anxiety. She knew the fear travelled in Santana's veins but it didn't make it to her facial muscles or skin. Her complexion remained unusually pale and matt, her eyes as steady as if she were shopping for shoes.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked - concern in her eyes and tone - as she focused on Santana.

"I'm… I'm fine." Santana replied in a hoarse voice.

Quinn knew she wasn't but she didn't pry any further. Pushing Santana is never a good idea. Pushing her while she's in this state could lead to your death.

* * *

The four friends were suddenly broken out of their thoughts by the double doors Rachel had disappeared through a while ago opening as Dr. Lopez stepped into the waiting room.  

Santana was the first to bolt out of her seat as Quinn, Puck and Brittany followed her shortly after. 

"What happened? Is she okay?" The questions came out of Santana's mouth like rapid fire.

"We did everything we could but-"

Santana's eyes widened and fear was etched on her face. Her father didn't even get to finish before she interrupted him.

"What do you mean you did everything you could?" The Latina tried to keep her voice steady and not show how much she was hurting. "Is she..." She stopped right there, not being able to continue.

"Let me finish, Santana." Antonio paused but continued as soon as Santana allowed him to. "We did everything we could but she's going to have to stay at the hospital for a while. She's alive but in very weak condition. She has a lot of bruising on her face and body, a black eye, three broken ribs and a concussion. She also has markings around her neck which is usually caused by choking. It looks like she's been stabbed in the stomach. The knife might have slightly punctured a lung. She's very lucky to still be alive because a punctured lung usually results in death within 3 to 15 minutes. Although, she did suffer from major blood loss."

Santana looked like she was trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the information bounced around inside her skull. She was white as chalk. Her eyes and her mouth were frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and although she was staring straight at her father, she appeared not to notice him at all.

They were all staring expectantly at her, her shoulders hunched together like she was trying to disappear inside herself. Even her dark eyes seemed to be attempting to retreat inside her head.

"Can I see her?" was all that came out of her mouth.

She knew if she tried to say another word, she would disintegrate into a puddle of her own tears.

"Of course. But first, I have to ask," Antonio took a deep breath before saying what he assumed would finally break his daughter. "All of her injuries point to abuse… Is that the case here?"

Santana had always been so self-conscious when she cried, but now, she just gave way to the enormity of her problem.

She sobbed into her hands and the tears dripped between her fingers, raining down onto the floor. Her breathing was ragged, gasping and the strength left her legs. She sank to her knees, not caring about whoever could be watching. She was noisy and her skin was blotched.

Santana cried as if her brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of her every pore. From her mouth came a cry so raw that even the eyes of the strangers around the group were suddenly wet with tears.

In Santana's sobbing was the sound of a heart breaking.

Hearts don't snap like brittle caramel or burst like an overfilled balloon. A heart breaks in the heaving waves of a new disturbing reality that arrives uninvited. It is the one in which their secret crush is lying in a hospital bed after being abused by her own father. It is entering a life they can't bear, and so, they break.

They aren't the same again, there's just a part of them that had to die so that the rest of them could carry on their duties to the other people they love.

So, as Antonio, Quinn, Brittany and Puck watched Santana shake with sadness, tears flowing unchecked, there was part of them breaking too. If she wasn't the same, then neither would they be.

That's what happens when you love someone, right? Their happiness is a part of your own.

A teary eyed Brittany looked at Quinn, seemingly asking for permission to do something. When Quinn nodded, Brittany bent down next to Santana and enveloped her in a hug.

It wasn't like her usual hugs. It was soft and warm. Comforting.

As Santana's sobs turned into slight hiccups, the Latina looked up to find Puck handing her a bottle of water. She took a few sips before composing herself and finally sitting up with the help of Quinn and Brittany.

"It's her father," Santana said in a still ragged voice. "It looks like it at least. She was so scared when he came to take her home, she flinched when he grabbed her and if you ask me; his grip was too tight,” She took a deep breath. “And when I went to her house, it was empty and I just found her lying there but… I just don't get it. Where's her other father?"

Antonio's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Honey, Leroy Berry died at the beginning of the summer in a restaurant shooting. He was brought to this hospital where I had to pronounce him dead myself. Come to think of it, Rachel and Hiram weren't there when he came in."

"Where's her room?"

Santana didn't even want to comment on what her father had just informed her of.

Quinn, Puck and Brittany's faces were riddled with shock but Santana's was blank. She felt that she might need to rehydrate if she shed anymore tears.

Antonio didn't say anything as he led his daughter to Rachel's room. The Latina's three friends stayed in the waiting room, knowing Santana might want a moment alone with who they all knew she had learned to develop feelings for.

A small smile spread across Brittany's face, glad that her best friend wasn't in denial anymore… Or at least she hoped.

As Antonio led Santana to Rachel's room, she could feel the fear in her chest waiting to take over.

Maybe it only wanted to protect her but there really wasn't any danger. It sat there like an angry ball, propelling her towards an anxiety she just didn't need.

* * *

Santana finally reached the door, white and dull like all of the others, but she could already see people inside. Doctors and nurses surrounded her hospital bed, attaching IV's, heart monitors and oxygen tanks to her.

She decided to explore the room while the other people were still crowded around the injured girl.

An old TV set hung from the ceiling. A window giving her a view of the world below was just beneath the screen. In the corner were two chairs, frayed with wear and tear. It was a typical hospital room, sparse and functional.

When the room emptied itself, Santana got a closer look at Rachel and she felt her breathing constrict at what she saw.

Rachel lied in the half-light, utterly still, eyes closed shut.

As Santana's footsteps approached, crunching the tiled floor, she remained still and a cursory glance was enough to know Rachel was still out of it. Her lips were blue and her skin was pale. She seemed as lifeless as the fall leaves.

And as Santana took in Rachel's injuries, she bit her lip. Leaving wasn't an option and staying promised to be a slowly unfolding nightmare.

So, she tried not to focus on how much smaller Rachel. Or how much vulnerable she probably felt. Or how much broken she really was, inside and out. Santana had never wanted to see Rachel like that, just to recall her vibrant smile. She lied on the bed, tucked in as if it mattered.

There was no greyness, simply a lack of the usual pink in Rachel’s cheeks. Santana’s hand found hers without thinking and recoiled just as fast.

Then Santana knew, knew why they wanted her to see Rachel alone. It wasn't her at all, just her body.

Santana was the only one in that hospital room and she had to know that. The real Rachel was gone. She expected to cry, yet in truth, she felt nothing at all, felt as if she'd never feel anything ever again.

_She's in there, I know it, but it's like she just took a huge step back from life. I want to reach in and tell her it’s not all hopeless, but she won't believe me. I want to rekindle her heat but her insides are too damp with unshed tears._

_I always knew she had pain inside, but now it's visible on her face, and I wish it would go away. I know that's a selfish want. People have a right to their pain. They don't ask for it._

_It just arrives like the gift you never wanted._

* * *

The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was just gone.

Santana paused, trying to hold back the strange feelings rumbling inside of her but she couldn't. A lone tear traced down her cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened.

So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. Her chin trembled as if she were a small child. She breathed heavier than she ever had before. She was gasping for air that simply wasn't there. Her throat burned, forming a silent scream.

A part of her was dying inside.

Santana's eyes dripped with tears. The walls, the walls that held her up, made her strong, just... Collapsed. Moment by moment, they fell. Salty drops fell from her chin, drenching her shirt. Maybe those tears would help wash out the blood on her uniform. She pressed her head against the bed _._

_I can't stop._

Even as she pressed her hand against the bed, it shook. It trembled.

It was raw. Everything. Raw tears. Raw emotions.

_I can't stop... I can't stop. Why can't I stop crying?_

What Santana didn't know was that Quinn had been watching her ever since the Latina let out that silent scream. She had never seen Santana sit like that, so deflated.

Her loose shoulders shook, her hands hung low, making no attempt to conceal or even wipe away her own tears. Aside from her reddened face, she was so pale looking and her hair was as dishevelled as the park under fall leaves.

Quinn's seen others cry like that - hell even she’s cried like that - and in every case, it was a transition from a person with hope to one without.

It's a kind of crying that shows the child underneath, that the hurt cut right back through the protective layers acquired in maturity.

Santana cried like there was too much raw pain inside her to be contained. She cried like her spirit needed to break loose from her skin, desperate to release an elemental rage on the world. The soothing words of her friend made no difference at all.

Santana was beyond all reason, beyond all natural methods of calming. And brick by brick, her walls came tumbling down.

So, Santana just ran from Quinn. She slammed back first into the wall outside of Rachel's room and slid down to the floor.

Santana didn't care who saw. She just broke down.

The sobs punched through, ripping through her muscles, bones, and guts. She pressed the back of her head against the grimy wall and began to let her heart yank in and out of her chest. It pulled back in like a yo-yo. Over and over. In and out.

She was hollow. Her life crumbled in her fingertips.

Then, suddenly, all three of her friends were there, patting and rubbing her back and arm. They reached into her hollowness and helped her back up to her feet.

Santana was about to walk away when a weak and familiar voice caught her attention.

She froze when she heard her name being uttered out.

"Santana…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! in the next chapter, santana and rachel finally have their first proper conversation.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kept this chapter on the light and simple side compared to those that came before. it only contains santana and rachel's first proper conversation and i think it's just right and enough for this one.

_"Santana…"_

Rachel's usually confident voice was so weak and unfamiliar.

She looked at Santana like the fire in her eyes had been doused with ice water. If anything; it made the brown look pale. Santana wasn't used to it. It unnerved her.

It's like Rachel just crawled inside some invisible shell and no matter how hard Santana tried, she was unreachable. She moved her eyes slowly, like they're heavy, an effort to move. The Latina wanted to crack her usual jokes but she knew the small girl wouldn't laugh.

The shadows of the beating were on Rachel's skin and on her heart.

The knowledge that her own father could do such a thing just broke something inside of her, something that would remain long after her skin and bones were healed. It was sadness in her eyes, heaviness, an unyielding sorrow that robbed her of her smile.

Rachel could never recall how long the beating had gone on for, only the final kick and the sound of the iron bar falling to the floor.

Her face wasn't too bad. Just a black eye and a couple of bruises. Nothing she wasn't used to. It was her body that was damaged almost beyond the point at which recovery was possible.

When the paramedics cut away her clothes, the blooming purple patches told of internal ruptures, likely organ damage. They had looked at Rachel with encouraging faces but were utterly ashen when she couldn't see them, giving involuntary shakes of their heads. And all the while, there was Santana crying in the waiting room like her heart had been snapped in two.

Santana tried to look away from her pale body still covered with dried blood but her eyes caught the small girl.

Her big black eyes were wide open with fear - the fear of getting abused by her own father. They still looked the same as they did before all of this. Bright, happy, full of dreams. But that part of her was clearly gone.

Emotional pain isn't felt the way a cut or bruise is. It’s much different and only you can tell it’s there. Sometimes the pain is at the back of your mind like a pulse. Other times, it pushes itself forward, demanding attention, cutting your heart and mind in half, stinging with every breath you take.

His violence was in his words.

Hiram knew everything about Rachel. Every perceived flaw, every vulnerability and he knew where to put the pressure. Like twisting a finger in a bullet hole, he reminded her of her pains, her worst memories, the times she had felt most abandoned.

Should she begin to climb higher, he knocked her down. Careful criticism of whatever propped up her shallow sense of self esteem always worked so well. In that way, Hiram kept control, kept her submissive and fearful enough to make her feel forced to stick around.

* * *

An invisible hand clasped over Rachel's mouth. An equally ghostly hypodermic of adrenaline pierced her heart, unloading in an instant.

She felt her ribs heaving as if bound by ropes, straining to inflate her lungs. Her head was a carousel of fears spinning out of control, each one pushing her mind into blackness.

As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. She tried to scream loudly but she couldn't. Her voice was too weak. The muffled sobs wracked against her chest.

Before Rachel knew it, Santana had her arms wrapped up around her.

The Latina looked at her three friends at the door, signalling at them to leave. They immediately obliged, figuring Rachel only needed one person at the moment even though both of them probably didn't know it yet.

Santana still had her arms wrapped around Rachel's waist, feeling her calm down instantly at her touch. The simple touch sent a wave of butterflies coursing through the small girl's veins - Santana's fluttering wings easing the dread that had settled inside her.

The Latina rubbed the tears away with her fingers and started rocking back and forth, raising a withered hand and stroked Rachel's back softly. But she still felt the slight heaving and shaking through the girl’s hospital gown. Her eyes were red, puffy and snot streamed clear from her nose.

As Santana stroked Rachel's back, her breathing slowed. Then, she began to hum what the small brunette recognized as 'Not While I'm Around' by Stephen Sondheim.

Now her tears had stopped, leaving only their tell-tale wet tracks down her face. Santana could soothe Rachel like no one else, even her own breaths were deep and even. It was impossible to stay anxious or upset with Santana around. But why?

"Why?"

Santana pulled away with confusion written across her face. She raised an eyebrow as if she were asking Rachel what she meant. Thankfully, the small girl got the message and spoke up again.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you… helping me?"

Santana wanted to tell her. She wanted to give her the real reason so badly. But she didn't. It wasn’t the right time.

"I just had a bad feeling in my stomach and thought I should check up on you. That's all."

"Oh."

Santana could've sworn she heard a tinge of disappointment in Rachel's voice. 

_What if she heard what I said? What if she knew I was in love with her? What if she felt the same way and was about to admit it?_

Santana quickly erased that thought.

_Why would she even feel the same way? I've been making her life a living hell for the past couple of years._

Santana couldn't admit to Rachel her feelings but she could attempt to talk to her about something she knew would be hard for the girl.

"Rachel… Was it your dad?"

Rachel's face fell faster than a corpse in cement boots.

In that instant, her skin became greyed, her mouth hung with lips slightly parted and her eyes were as wide as they could stretch.

 _Crap. Crap. Crap. She can't know. No one can know._  

Rachel felt her heart drop to her stomach as realization suddenly dawned upon her.

_He'll kill me if I'm not home by the time he gets back._

There it goes again, her inner dialogue, but it's not her friend. It whispers to her.

_Everything has gone wrong. It's terrible. No way back. Disaster. Ruined…_

The world seemed closer to her eyes and the air became more soupy, harder to breathe.

A glossy sheen coated her eyes that wasn't there before and her thoughts scattered like there was an electrical storm in her head, too many short-circuits to make any sense.

All the while, only one thing came through.

_You're failing. It's over. Give up. Run away…_

"I have to go."

Santana felt confusion take over once more as Rachel attempted to get out of bed with a panicked look on her face, but as soon as the small girl made a movement, she felt her hand being clasped and immediately retracted it as she flinched, closing her eyes in the process.

"Rachel, it's just me."

Never in a million years would Santana have thought she'd witness Rachel Berry struggling to regulate her breathing. She knew she had to do something about it.

"I can help you. Just tell me what happened." Santana said as she reached a hand out towards the broken girl.

"Shut up!" Rachel cried, swatting her outstretched limb as her eyes diverted to the floor. "No one helps. They only make it worse. This isn't something you can put a bandaid over and say it'll be okay. Because newsflash! It won't be.” 

Rachel took a second to compose herself before continuing. “He dragged me into this pit and is never letting me go. No matter how hard or how long the rope someone throws to get me out is, he always cuts the cord and I plummet back down to the ground. I get hurt with each attempt to get out, more and more dirt covering me as I try,” Rachel locked eyes with Santana. “Why can't you just see that and leave me alone? Stop pretending that you care because it just makes it worse! There is no bandaid large enough or absorbent enough for me."

Her voice took on a gentler tone, looking back down. "And I just want to let it all go... I don't want to be stuck in that pit anymore, I want to be in the field of flowers right outside the hole... I want to be free..." Rachel collapsed back on her pillow, a few tears falling from her brown eyes. "I want to be happy, but I can't find it. It's like I'm playing hide and seek with someone all the way across the world and winning will let me be free. It'll never happen... Besides, I don't deserve it."

"I want to help." Santana repeated herself, just as confident as earlier.

"Were you not listening? Help doesn't wo-" Rachel was silenced by the cheerio pulling her into a hug, gentle yet firm, her tone matching it.

"I want to help and I’m prepared to climb down into that pit myself to get you out. I want you to smile again and I will not take no for an answer,” Santana sighed. “Now, either you relax and tell me what happened or I will force the information out of you myself."

Rachel was stunned.

No one was ever this forceful about the topic. Whenever she said she was fine, they just brushed it to the side. Well, no one actually cared enough to ask but she pictured that would be what happened if anyone did.

"You're too important to lose. No one should be allowed to lay a finger on you."

Rachel then gave Santana a smile as she pulled back to look at her.

A smile that just seemed so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness. An unexpected warmth rushed right through the Latina. The way her lips lifted upward. The way her one dimple crinkled. The way her teeth were perfectly aligned. The warm glow her newfound happiness gave.

Rachel's smile was a ray of sunshine and Santana was a sunburn 

What pleased Santana wasn't just the fact that Rachel's smile was beautiful. What pleased her was just how genuine it seemed.

Rachel's cheeks used to hurt from smiling for so long. The corners of her lips fought to fall down and the reveal her true self. But she didn't let that happen. Not after realizing that that was what everybody wanted - a kid who would always be happy and playful, not someone who showed up with visible bruises everyday and didn't even know how to genuinely smile.

She hadn't figured out how to act playful, but had been carrying out the 'happy girl' role pretty well so far. What pleased Santana was that Rachel's act was finally over.

That was the first time Rachel had genuinely smiled in a while.

She didn't have to hide behind a mask. Not of happiness. Not of coping. She could be honest and get heartfelt advice. It was the release valve she desperately needed and craved for as long as she could remember.

"Talk. Now."

Rachel saw this coming from Santana but wished she could have waited a bit longer. Although, she knew she needed to tell someone and who better than the person who might have just saved her life?

"I guess it's been going on since I was a kid but it got worse when I started high school,” Rachel took a deep breath before continuing. “He had to approve of whoever I wanted to date and I would only get food if he deemed me worthy of being fed. He used to always pressure me and push me. He often insulted me. My other dad wasn't around much at the time because of work. It was all verbal abuse until…"

Santana noticed Rachel's hesitation. She then squeezed the small girl's hand tightly as an encouragement to go on. So, she did.

"It wasn't until we lost our first Regionals that he started… h-hitting me. I-I'm not ready to go into detail but it got worse each time and I would usually wake up on the living room. He didn’t use any objects at first,” Rachel shut her eyes once she got to the next part. “Then, after Nationals, my other dad died in a restaurant shooting by trying to protect me. That night, he dragged me home. He blamed his death on me. Not that he was wrong. And then he…"

Rachel couldn't take it anymore. It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that came from a person drained of all hope. Her tears trickled down her cheek and her gasping wails echoed around the room. The pain that flowed from her was as palpable as the frigid fall wind.

Red hot tears ran down her face, each one carving furrows on the tender flesh that still stung from her father's hits, bruises that marred her once beautiful face. Tears ran down her face like the water flowing through the drains, rubbing salt into her open wounds.

And then, almost out of nowhere, the only person at Rachel’s side was Santana as she sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her back gently.

"It's okay. It's okay. You don't have to tell me everything now."

Santana had white knuckles from clenching her fist too hard. She gritted her teeth from effort to remain silent. Her hunched form exuded an animosity that was like acid - burning, slicing, potent. Her face was red with suppressed rage.

All she wanted to do was start yelling about how Rachel's father had been treating her so horribly. But she didn't. She didn't want to scare Rachel off.

As soon as she calmed down, Rachel lifted her head up to meet Santana's line of sight, and all she could see was concern in her eyes.

She did, however, notice how Santana seemed to be holding back all of the anger boiling up inside of her. For that, she was grateful, and she wanted to make sure Santana knew that. 

"He used to tell me to shut up. But you, with you, it's like you tell my anxiety to shut up instead. I don't know how you do it and I don't need to. That you can, and so effortlessly, is enough. Thank you."

Rachel expected a smirk but that's not what she got.  

Santana's smile shined like the stars in the sky with no bright city lights to dim them. It was like the sun opened its eager light to shine about her, only brightening her perfectly aligned teeth.

As soon as Santana smiled at Rachel, the brunette’s fears whisked away like a bunch of fruit flies caught in a heavy gust of wind. Excitement rushed through her veins.

Happiness flared in Santana's eyes and for the first time in a while, it began to do the same in Rachel's too. Even if the world around the small girl started collapsing, her heart would not get crushed as long as she was looking at her first love.

_Wait, what?_

Rachel pushed that thought to the back of her mind once Santana wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arm.

Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against hers. She sunk into the warmth of her side, appreciative of the simple gesture, not caring about the contact she made with her own dried blood on the cheerleading uniform.

Santana's touch made the room warmer somehow, and in that moment, Santana's arms squeezed a fraction tighter and Rachel breathed a bit slower, her body melting into her savior's as every muscle lost its tension.

This was life. Real life.

"I love you." was the last thing Santana heard before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

A few hours later, at least that's how long Santana assumed it had been, she was woken up by a knock at the door.

She slowly cracked open her eyes to see find Rachel still asleep in her arms. A smile crossed her face but it disappeared as soon as she turned her head to find a man and a woman she didn't recognize standing at the door.

"And you are?"

"My name is detective Charles Watson and right next to me is detective Brooke Ashton. We'd like to ask miss Rachel Berry some questions about what happened."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! next chapter contains the interrogation between the detectives and rachel, santana at her side.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you feel like associating the detectives with familiar faces, you can picture brooke as catherine zeta jones and charles as james mcavoy. enjoy!!

Santana nudged Rachel in attempt to wake her up but all she got as a response was a groan.

_Someone's a heavy sleeper._

She didn't want to wake up the damaged girl but she had no choice. If it were up to Santana, she'd still be holding Rachel as they both peacefully slept.

Sadly, they were in for a rude awakening.

"No… Please don't…" Rachel mumbled in her sleep.

Santana figured Rachel was just dreaming, but by the sound of it, she didn't seem to be enjoying it. That lead to her shaking the small girl, hoping it would be enough to rouse her from her slumber.

Bad call. It made things worse.

"I-I'll do better… I promise… No!"

Rachel's eyes suddenly snapped open, panic and dread evident in them.

She sat up faster than a cat in ice water, momentarily forgetting about the pain. A few seconds later, she regretted her action as her face contorted, her discomfort becoming visible.

_Well, that wasn't a smart move._

The fear in her eyes was then replaced by confusion as soon as she spotted the two detectives at the door.

"Hello, Ms. Berry. I regret to bother you but we need to speak to you,” they pulled out their badges. “I'm detective Charles Watson and this right here is detective Brooke Ashton. We've been assigned your case due to Dr. Lopez calling in order to report domestic violence."

That was when it all made sense to Rachel.

She remembered Santana going on and on at one point about how her father was one of the very best doctors in Lima. Of course, she would tell him all about what happened.

Realization suddenly dawned upon Rachel - she had to explain everything.

Her head started to fill up with all kinds of questions. What if her father finds out and comes back to get her? What if she fails to explain due to panic? What if Santana starts mocking her? What if they don't believe her?

She felt it, building like an unstoppable snowball in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't concentrate on anything else that was going on.

The next step was her heart starting to beat harder and faster. Adrenaline levels rose. Her brain started to fire out negative thoughts like a machine gun. Sweat started to coat her skin.

The negative thoughts kept coming like waves on rocks. The arguments in her head got so fast and so disturbing that her brain shut down her body. The sweat had completely covered her body and her heart felt like it was going to explode.

Thankfully, Santana was already able to read Rachel like a book. She picked up on the small girl's nerves kicking in almost immediately.

Santana knew that if she didn't intervene soon that Rachel would have a full blown panic attack. Nobody wanted to see that and Rachel sure as hell didn't need it.

That's when she finally looked back at the detectives and spoke up.

"I'm pretty sure this can wait until she's feeling a little better."

If Rachel hadn't felt like she owed Santana a debt of gratitude before then she definitely did now.

Although she was thankful that Santana had taken such an interest in suddenly protecting her for some reason, she didn't want to have someone defend her every single time. She hated being seen as this fragile object that could break with the touch of a hand. 

"It can but we might get to solve this quicker if she collaborates as soon as possible." detective Watson answered in a patient tone.

"Well, I think that-"

"It's okay, Santana,” Rachel interrupted as soon as Santana went back to defending her. "I'm ready to talk." the small girl added in a rather shaky and hesitant voice which didn't go unnoticed by the Latina.

"Are you sure?" Santana asked, nothing but concern and worry in her words.

"Y-Yeah. Whatever helps the investigation move forward."

Santana still looked unsure but ended up giving Rachel a slight nod of the head.

Detective Watson raised an eyebrow when he noticed Santana not make a move for the door. Santana picked up on his confusion and chuckled to herself before beginning to speak.

"If you think I'm leaving, you're dead wrong. If you have any problem with that, you can take it up to Dr. Lopez himself," She paused for a moment as the detective opened his mouth but she didn't give him the chance to get any words out once she continued. "Oh, how rude of me. I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Santana Lopez. I'm the daughter of the best doctor in this shitty town."

The man opened his mouth again before shutting it seconds later, deciding against provoking the seemingly feisty Latina and daughter of Dr. Lopez himself. He decided to just take a seat next to his partner at Rachel's bedside.

In her arrogant triumph, Santana smirked. It was just a small pouting of the lips, a narrowing of the eyes and a tilting of the head. It was so subtle. It was even more infuriating for detective Watson who caught a glimpse of it.

If Santana wasn't too busy in her subtle showing off, she would've caught out of the corner of her eye something that would've widened her smirk even more if that was even possible. Yet another one of Rachel's genuine smiles.

"You may begin whenever you're ready, Rachel." detective Ashton said with a small smile on her face in a gentle and reassuring tone. That certainly pleased Santana.

_Thank god she's not like that other douche._

* * *

Rachel talked about everything she told Santana previously, obviously not going into detail concerning the beatings.

The Latina listened intently once the small girl picked off where she left off in their conversation, even giving her a reassuring squeeze of the hand whenever the girl seemed to be tensing up.

Rachel somehow managed to tell them everything she could bear to talk about. She didn't bring up how her father had sexually assaulted her or what had happened after her other father died or before Santana had found her.

Then again, she didn't really talk about any of the beatings, only bringing up the aftermaths.

Rachel felt Santana's grip on her hand getting tighter each time she revealed a bit of information, knowing the cheerleader was having a hard time hearing this while controlling her anger.

"I know this must be hard for you but I need you to specify exactly what he did to you."

Santana just couldn't contain her rage anymore. She was prepared to go all Lima Heights on the man until she felt Rachel shaking. She looked up at the small girl and noticed she was on the verge of breaking down.

_Dammit, Rachel._

At that moment, Santana allowed all of her pent up frustration to fade away and calmly address the man while keeping her hold on Rachel tight.

"Why do you need to know so badly? How is it going to help you with the case?"

"You never know. There might be something she hasn't told us that might help us get closer to solving this. This is why we tell our victims to not leave out a single detail."

Rachel closed her eyes and flinched at the mention of the word 'victim'. Santana was about to say something until detective Ashton finally interjected herself into the discussion.

"I think that's enough for today, Charles."

"But-"

Detective Ashton gave detective Watson a glare that clearly indicated for him to 'drop it' and Santana was eternally thankful for that.  

The man let out a sigh before speaking.

"Of course. We better get going then. Let us know when you're ready to talk, Rachel." Rachel gave him a nod as the detectives exited the door.

"Detective Ashton?" Santana called as she stood up, causing the older woman to turn around and face her. "Thanks." she smiled at her.

"Don't sweat it," the detective answered with a warm smile. "And you can call me Brooke from now on."

"Okay then, Brooke." Santana nodded.

"Let me know if you two ever need anything," Brooke said  before looking over at Rachel as a sad smile crossed her facial features. "Get well soon."

"Thank you. So much." Rachel answered in a still well mannered tone which made Santana smirk.

_I guess some things never change._

Brooke stepped over to Rachel's side and whispered something in her ear that was meant to be inaudible to Santana. "My wife and I would totally take you two up on a double date when this mess is over with."

Brooke winked at Rachel as she pulled away. A giggle escaped the small girl as the older woman walked out with a satisfied look on her face.

Although Santana was confused as hell, she couldn't help but feel that Rachel's giggle softened the room, as if her gentle sound could make the lamplight more golden and the fires burn warmer.

"What was up with that?" Santana asked once Rachel's giggling came to a halt.

"Nothing." Rachel answered while struggling to stifle yet another giggle.

Santana gave Rachel a curious look  but didn't have time to insist on the subject since her father walked in at that exact moment.

"Looks like you girls know how to have fun even in a hospital room." Antonio said with a smile on his face.

"Well, I don't but someone sure does." Santana replied with a smirk as she glanced over at Rachel.

Her smirk morphed into a frown once she caught sight the small girl casting a sad look down at the fingers she was fiddling with.

_Reminding her she’s in the hospital probably isn't a good move._

"I think it'd be best if you went home to get some rest, Santana." Antonio spoke up once he realized Rachel wasn't going to say anything.

"What? Why? I can stay here. What's wrong with that?" Santana protested with a pout on her face.

"What's wrong is that your friends are still waiting to take you home. Need I remind you that you came here in an ambulance and don't have your car? You're not going to make them sleep here because you all have to go to school tomorrow whether you like it or not." Santana let out an annoyed groan.

_I miss the times when he would always fall for my pout._

Antonio noticed the frustration in his daughter's eyes as he draped his hand over her shoulder and led her to the door, continuing his statement in a voice just above a whisper. "Honey, Rachel's going to be fine. Nothing's going to happen to her in the hospital. I know you occasionally get worried and overprotective about the people you love but she needs some time to think things through for herself and rest,” Santana bit her lip and looked over at Rachel who was fast asleep already. “Give her some breathing space. You can come back to check on her after school tomorrow and I'll let you know if anything's wrong."

Santana let out a deep sigh before giving her father a hesitant nod. She then walked over to Rachel, bent down and kissed the exhausted girl's forehead.

"I love you too." was all she whispered before walking out with her father, leaving Rachel to rest on her own.

* * *

At nearly three in the morning, the rambunctious blaring of Rachel's phone jarred her out of her peaceful sleep.

She sleepily grabbed her phone, her vision so blurry due to the drowsiness she was feeling that she answered the call, not even checking to see who was on the other line.

"Hello?"

_"You thought you could get away from me that easily?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! next chapter takes a look at the friendship between santana and quinn.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is really just about quinn and santana's friendship and a look into their past together while they discuss current events.

Santana was jarred out of her sleep due to the constant ringing of her phone.

She ended the call before even checking who was on the other end. She still had an hour left until she had to get up to go to school and she was bent on enjoying every second of sleep that remained.

However, she wasn't able to get much of it since Rachel had been on her mind all night. Once the ringing started up again, she decided to turn her phone off and drift off to sleep. 

* * *

An hour later, the alarm clock went off for a second and Santana smacked it as soon as she heard it, letting out a disgruntled groan of displeasure as she got out of bed.

She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed in frustration at what she saw. She had black bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep and her hair was messier than ever.

Santana then started getting ready, not even thinking back to the racket her phone was making an hour ago.

Once she was done and pleased with her appearance, she head downstairs to the kitchen where she was met with the sight of her little brother Mateo eating cereal and her mother Maribel placing a stack of pancakes on a plate.

Santana ruffled her brother's hair which earned her a pout in return. She then placed a kiss on her mother's cheek in order to announce her presence.

"Looks like someone's finally awake,” Maribel chuckled to herself. “I made you some pancakes." Maribel said as a smile crossed her facial features.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry." Santana answered with an apologetic look on her face.

"Are you sure? You know what happened when you-"

"I know, mom. It's not that. I'm just not really in the mood to eat," Santana quickly replied before hearing honking from outside. "Oh, that must be Quinn." Santana added before waving goodbye to her mother as she walked out of the kitchen.

Quinn had insisted on taking her to school herself despite Santana getting her car back the other day. The blonde knew the Latina would not get much sleep after the day she had and would not be in the mood to drive either way.

Although Santana would never admit it, she was eternally grateful to have had someone like Quinn by her side for so long.

"Oh, Santana!" Maribel called out as Santana walked back into the kitchen with her eyebrow raised. "Before I forget, I wanted to tell you that Rafael will be staying over for the weekend."  Santana nodded, desperately trying to stifle the aggravated sigh that was fighting to escape.

Santana was not too fond of her cousin to say the least.

Rafael was a twenty two year old man who was still living with his parents in Lima. He only applied to one college and got rejected. Santana couldn't blame the admissions' board since he did have outlandishly low test scores and as a result, he never even graduated and ended up dropping out altogether.

His girlfriend dumped him when she moved away to study at UCLA and he had been drowning his sorrows in alcohol in his parents' basement ever since.

The only job he ever had was working as a bartender but he was fired after a week because he was caught constantly drinking on the job. He even spent some time in prison after getting caught trying to steal some beverages while wasted,  threatening the staff with a fake gun at that same bar a day after getting fired.

He only spent a night there and it was the night Santana came back from New York.

A honk that lasted a couple of seconds longer than the first one caught Santana's attention. She rolled her eyes at her best friend's impatience before shooting her mother a smile and heading out with her bag.

* * *

That was when she saw Quinn waiting in her car while tapping her fingernails on the steering wheel. Santana glared at her as she entered the vehicle.

"What?" Quinn questioned.

"You really couldn't have waited?" Santana asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I apologize for not wanting to be late for school."

"You sound like Rachel. I would've only taken a second longer."

"The last time you took a second longer, we showed up late and it shifted our entire schedules. Do I need to remind you of the laps coach Sylvester made us do because of that? Weren't you the one complaining about aches for an entire week?"

"Whatever," Santana rolled her eyes and looked out the window as Quinn drove off. "Were you the restless person constantly calling me this morning too?"

The question only made Quinn furrow her eyebrows.

"I didn't call you today."

Santana turned her phone on for the first time of the day to find five missed calls and one recent voicemail that her father had left her.

She didn't even hesitate before listening to it.

_"You're probably not picking up your phone because you're still sleeping, but I wanted to let you know that Rachel seemed to be panicking when I went in to check on her. She was trying to get out of bed but she ended up giving up and falling asleep. I don't want you to visit her now because you have to go to school so that you can get your mind off of what happened. You can visit her in the afternoon. Please don't worry. She'll be fine."_

"We have to get to the hospital." was the first thing that came out of Santana's mouth when the voicemail came to an end.

"But your father said-"

"I don't care. Go."

"We can't just skip school, Santana."

"Yes, we can. I've done it before. Hospital. Now."

"Look, being there now won't change anything,” Quinn momentarily raised her voice and turned to Santana. “She's resting and your father won't be too happy if he sees you there. It's better to check on her in the afternoon when she'll probably be awake." 

"Fine. But if something happens-"

"Hospital. I know."

Santana nodded in confirmation before directing her attention back to the window, enjoying the silence that ended up being short lasted.

"You really do love her, don't you?" Quinn asked.

"What makes you say that?" Santana answered in a questioning tone, her eyes not leaving the window.

"I know you, Santana,” Quinn stated in a soft tone. “You only get overprotective and defensive about the people you love. Family, friends and love interests. Last time I checked, Rachel isn't a part of your family and you two haven't really been getting along quite well these past few years so that rules out the friend option. That only leaves out one thing,” Quinn huffed. “Besides, you won’t even look at me right now which says a lot.”

"Well, it doesn't matter," Santana said as she devoted her attention back to Quinn. "She's not into girls and even if she were, why would she go out with someone who has made her life a living hell at school while she hasn't really been dealing the best family situation?"

"So, you do like her?"

"Fine! Yes, I like her! But like I said, it doesn't matter."

"I know about what happened between you and Brittany."

"What? How?"

"I overheard your conversation the day you admitted your feelings to her. You just don't want it to happen again with someone you actually love."

"Are you saying I don't love Brittany?"

"You love her as a best friend. And she’s the reason you realized you were gay which is why you felt like she was your only option. But you don't get over things as quick as you did with Brittany,” Quinn’s voice took a softer tone once again as she looked at Santana with care in her eyes. “I was there when you went through what you did during sophomore year. It took you longer to get over that than to get over Brittany. This thing with Rachel is really getting to you."

Santana looked down at her lap as she started nervously fiddling with her fingers.

Quinn stopped at a red light and draped her hand over Santana's to stop her from stressing. She used her other hand to lift Santana's chin up so that her best friend could meet her eyesight as she spoke.

"She likes you too."

"How would you know?"

"I see the way she stares at you. Wasn't your name the first thing she said when she woke up?"

"Probably because I took her to the hospital,” Santana huffed. “Let's face it. She probably thinks I just took pity on her and that I'll leave her when this thing is over with,” She then cast her eyes back to her fingers. “Besides, I'm done telling people how I feel. Never ends well."

"But you can prove to her that you won't. I know you feel scared after getting rejected by one of your closest friends but-"

"Don't tell me how I feel," Santana interjected as she pulled her hands away from Quinn's grasp and looked out the window again. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Santana…"

"The light’s green."

Quinn let out a frustrated sigh before turning her attention back to the road, sneaking quick, discrete and subtle glances at Santana any chance she got just to see if it was possible to catch an emotion being shown or a crack in her mask.  

The blonde didn't want to miss the moment the Latina's walls crumbled. Quinn wanted to be there for her but it would get slightly annoying whenever Santana pushed her away and refused to let her in.

The situation reminded her of what a wild ride sophomore year was.

It was the year they joined Glee club together. It was the year Santana helped Quinn through her pregnancy. It was the year Quinn helped Santana through her eating disorder.

It was also the year they promised each other that they would never keep their emotions caged in because they would need an out at some point.

Quinn understood why Santana was still doing it. Especially after everything she had been through. Even though it is a proven fact that keeping everything locked in could lead to a catastrophic disaster.

Quinn knew Santana needed help even though she wasn't willing to admit it. Quinn still knew because she knew how it felt like.

The two were more similar than they’d care to admit.

When Quinn glanced at Santana one last time to find a blank expression and a face void of emotion, she decided to try her hand at an entirely different tactic that worked most of the time.

"So, what else is going on in your life?" Quinn asked, a smile crossing her face once she noticed Santana opening her mouth to speak.

"Well, Rafael is staying over for the weekend and I just don't have enough energy to deal with his ass right now."

"Do you ever have enough energy to deal with him? I mean, didn't his parents ask you to actually babysit him once? And didn't they offer you a lot of money so that you would actually do it?" Quinn noticed Santana's lips twitch, threatening a smile before she actually answered. 

"No amount of money in the world is worth having him around for even a second."

They both erupted into a fit of laughter as they continuously discussed stories about Rafael's behavior.

One comment regarding the man's attitude resembling Puck's on steroids seemed to have made Santana's day as she ended up panting and gasping for air because of how hard she was laughing.

Quinn's plan had worked yet again. Changing the subject or just talking about anything and everything usually helped lighten the mood when tension is sensed while hanging out with Santana.

Targeting Rafael once he was brought up was the best decision she could've made to get Santana's mind off of things.

* * *

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

The car ride went silent again as they neared the school, and she parked the car, Quinn looked back at Santana to find her taking deep inhaled breaths with her eyes tightly closed shut.

The blonde once again got a hold of her hand before the Latina had a panic attack.

"Hey, look at me."

Santana evened her breaths and slowly opened her eyes. It pained Quinn to see her best friend in such an unusual state for her.

It was pretty clear that Santana just didn't want to get swarmed with questions about what happened after Rachel fainted. She wouldn't be able to handle it for sure.

Truth is, Quinn was worried about that as well but she knew she had to be strong for Santana and she wasn't going to show any ounce of fear.

"What's your name?" Quinn asked as she looked Santana straight in the eyes.

"Santana Lopez." Santana answered in a low and shaky voice.

"What was that?"

"Santana Lopez." Santana repeated, just a bit louder.

"Exactly. You're Santana Lopez. You got this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! the next chapter will be about how santana deals with her day at school with quinn and brittany and other glee club members at times. santana does also have a pretty important conversation with kurt. no rachel appearance other than in a flashback.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains a lot of interaction between the unholy trinity and kurt makes an appearance. enjoy!!

Luckily for her, Santana managed to get through the first part of the day without getting asked any question regarding what happened after Rachel fainted.

The main reason was because Quinn and Brittany stuck by her and gave a death glare to anyone who dared to even sneak a glance at them. You know you shouldn't approach when even Brittany is glaring at you.

Santana had Glee practice today so she would at least have time to prepare before getting swarmed with questions.

* * *

Unfortunately, life had other plans.

During lunch, the Unholy Trinity sat on a table far away from the Glee table which most of its members seemed to notice. They were on the receiving end of confused and curious looks. The first one to take action was Finn as he walked up to them while the other Glee clubbers watched closely, trying to be subtle.

_Great. Here comes Lumps the Clown._

Santana rolled her eyes as he neared the table. She really didn't want to have to deal with him right now. She had no idea why Quinn even decided to get back together with him in the first place. She was clearly miserable when she first dated him and no one knows how to read Quinn better than Santana. 

It really didn't come as a shock that they decided to send Finn. He and Rachel did date but what nobody seemed to notice was that he treated her horribly. Then again, he does do that to all of the girls he dates.

He had a right to be pissed when Quinn lied about who the father of her unborn baby was. He had a right to be pissed after getting cheated on. But Quinn and Rachel also had a right to be pissed because of how he juggled them and relentlessly toyed with their emotions.

He kept going from Santana's best friend to Santana’s love interest. You don't get off easily after that.

Finn kissed Rachel twice while he and Quinn dated. Once during their picnic in the auditorium and once during their date at the bowling alley. Then, he still acted like the perfect boyfriend to Quinn while Rachel was forced to watch.

After he broke up with Quinn, he didn't hesitate before going to Rachel. Out of the blue, he broke up with her a few days later. I mean sure, Santana played a part in that but it still doesn't change the fact that he crawled right back to Rachel after not getting what he wanted out of his date with Brittany and Santana.

The only reason Santana knew about the times Finn kissed Rachel was because she just happened to use the auditorium as a shortcut to get to cheerios practice when they kissed and she was at the bowling alley with Brittany when it happened for the second time.

Santana informed Quinn but the blonde constantly told her she needed someone like Finn by her side for the sake of the baby.

However, the boy didn't even know how to take care of Quinn after she moved in with him when her parents kicked her out. Santana had to sneak in by the window just so she could do that herself. She didn't even stop doing that after the blonde moved in with Puck and then Mercedes.

Santana wished Quinn had gone to her but she understood why she didn't.

Ms. Jones brought Quinn a lot of food so that the baby could grow properly but what the woman didn't know was that most of it went to Santana when she snuck in. Quinn always kept some leftovers for the Latina to help her through her eating disorder which was triggered by the high expectations for her to live up to Quinn as the new head cheerleader.

"Hey, guys. Um… I just came here to tell you something." Finn said as he nervously stepped from side to side.

_Ugh. Is he going to do that during this entire conversation?_

"Spit it out, frankenteen. We don't have all day." Santana said which earned her a glare on Quinn’s by the time Artie wheeled his way next to Finn.

_My friends literally have the worst taste in guys._

"As Finn was saying, Glee practice for today has been canceled because Mr. Schue is sick." Artie commented as Santana let out a breath she didn't know she was even holding.

_Please let it be just that. Please let it be just that._

"And…"

_Just my luck._

"We were wondering why you guys aren't sitting with us."

"And what happened to Rachel by the way? I've been worried about her ever since she fainted." Finn added as he put his hands in his pockets.

"Took you long enough." Santana whispered under her breath.

She thought no one had heard her but that was clearly not the case since Quinn nudged her shoulder.

Santana didn't understand why Quinn didn't feel like just lunging at her boyfriend. Finn showing interest in Rachel again just because she might've gotten hurt obviously pissed the blonde off just as much as it pissed the Latina off.

Then again, Santana did do the same thing when she noticed something was wrong with Rachel. The only difference is that, unlike Finn, Santana genuinely liked Rachel.

"Rachel's resting at home because she’s sick. Just like Mr. Schue. Maybe she contaminated him yesterday. You wouldn't want her to show  and get you sick just because you're suddenly worried about her, would you?" Brittany asked as Finn quickly shook his head before walking away with a dopey look on his face.

Brittany shot Santana a subtle wink as the Latina mouthed the words 'thank you' to her with a smile crossing her face afterwards. The tall dancer might not have been the smartest when it came to school but when it came to people, everyone was weary not to ever doubt her.

It also helped that you'd have to deal with Santana if you doubted her and no one wanted that.

"Well, you still haven't told us why you're not sitting over there with us at the Glee table." Artie brought out.

The three cheerleaders exchanged looks, not really knowing what to say. Santana wanted to sit at another table so that she could avoid talking about Rachel and actually relax with her two best friends but she couldn't say that.

"Why don't you mind your own business, professor X?" Santana looked up to find Puck standing next to Artie. "They can sit wherever they want."

"Oh, I know that. I was just-"

"You were just leaving. Now wheel away."

Artie looked like he wanted to say something but he decided against it once he saw the look on Puck's face which clearly said 'leave now or you'll die'. So, he wheeled away, the boy with the mohawk following him back to the Glee table but not before mouthing 'you're welcome' to the three cheerleaders.

Santana was relieved she didn't have to go to Glee practice later in the afternoon. The sooner she could see Rachel, the better.

* * *

The three cheerleaders' lunch was once again interrupted when Becky put a crumpled up piece of paper on their table before speeding off.

They all wore confused looks on their faces until Quinn picked up and opened the paper, leting out a frustrated sigh after reading it. The two others leaned in to read what was written, immediately recognizing Sue's handwriting.

_An extra hour has been added to practice later on today. Be there or you're off the squad. I don't care what other plans you have._

Okay, Santana might imagined that last sentence but it was still true. The now cancelled Glee club rehearsal was replaced by another hour of cheerios practice.

_Great. Just great._

She noticed the annoyed looks on the other cheerleaders' faces but no one was as aggravated as her by this.

_At least I'll get to see Rachel more often now since I'll need medical care at the hospital after this._

"This is total bullshit." Santana said out loud in an annoyed tone. "Why do we need extra practice anyway? We're shoo-ins at Nationals this year."

"Coach probably wants to make sure after what happened last year. Looks like she's planning on pushing us to the bone." Quinn mentioned, seemingly just as annoyed as Santana by this news.

"Because she hasn't been doing that already, right?" Santana asked with sarcasm evident in her voice, Quinn and Brittany letting out a slight chuckle at the comment.

* * *

After lunch ended, the day continued.

All three of the girls shared their last period. It was history class and they had a group project to do. Quinn was paired up with Sam, Brittany was paired up with this new foreign exchange student Rory, who just happened to have joined Glee club the other day, and Santana was paired up with Kurt.

The Latina rolled her eyes as the teacher called out both their names. She just hoped the boy wouldn't start asking questions about what happened since he was known to be the gossip type.

Everything was going perfectly fine.

They immediately started their work and nothing but their work. Silence took over as they quickly finished because of how focused they were on that one thing while the other students talked about random things when they should’ve been  working.

Santana didn't want to open a discussion with Kurt to avoid diving into the subject of Rachel. Kurt, however, had other ideas.

"So, what happened to Rachel yesterday?" Kurt asked as Santana sighed, both externally and internally.

"Didn't Finn tell you? She's-"

"Sick? Yeah, I heard."

_Then why the hell are you asking?_

"But when are you going to tell me what really happened?"

Santana instantly tensed up at the boy's follow up question. It wasn't her place to tell anyone else about what Rachel had been going through.

"Wha-What are you talking about? That is what really happened."

"Oh, please. I saw the look on your face when I asked you what really happened. There’s something you’re not telling me." Kurt said, Santana fighting the urge to punch him in the face.

_Maybe that would shut him up for good._

"It was one of her dads, wasn't it?"

Santana's eyes widened and her mouth hung slightly open at the question she had been just asked.

She blinked a few times, trying to process what Kurt had just said. She furrowed her eyebrows when she couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation to why he brought up Rachel's father.

What she was feeling was a mixture of shock and confusion.

"How do you-"

"Let it suffice to say you're not the only who's noticed Rachel stumbling in her steps while dancing and holding her stomach in obvious pain," Santana was still not relieved of her shock and confusion. Kurt quickly picked up on the reason, almost chuckling to himself. "Seriously? You were practically staring at her the whole time."

Santana would've blushed, and she rarely ever blushes, if the situation wasn't so serious.

"N-No, it's not that. What makes you think it was her da- I mean one of her dads?"

Kurt sent her a confused look after her mistake but he quickly shook it off.

"It was Sectionals. Sophomore year. Right after Finn showed up and we started working on the new setlist…"

* * *

_Kurt was making his way to join the group who was already piled together, rehearsing the chosen group song for their very first and what could be their very last show choir competition._

_That was until he heard a low gasp behind him, inaudible to the rest of the room. He did have good hearing after all._

_Kurt turned around to find Rachel gazing at her phone with wide eyes. He didn't even have time to ask her what the problem was since she bolted out of the room faster than the Flash would have._

_The boy knitted his eyebrows closer together before looking back at the rest of the club to see if anyone else noticed._

_Nobody did._

_So, Kurt left the room, but by the time he did, Rachel was nowhere in sight._

_He was about to go back in when he heard some yelling. Intrigued by this, he walked down the hallway and turned a corner to find himself in front of the almost empty lobby._

_There were only two people in the middle of the room. Rachel in front of some tall man with grey hair and a pair of glasses._

_Kurt’s nerves were frayed to the quick as he hid behind the wall that separated the lobby from the hallway, eavesdropping on Rachel and who he assumed was one of her two dads._

_"This is all your fault."_

_The older man's loud and harsh tone startled Kurt, making him wonder why he was talking to Rachel like that._

_"Dad, I didn't do any-"_

_"Shut up. I don’t recall giving you permission to speak," Kurt asked himself who would talk to their daughter like that. It just didn't make any sense. "If you lose today…"_

_When all he could hear was complete silence, Kurt looked at the scene before him, his eyes widening in horror._

_Hiram had his arm in the air as Rachel stood still, her eyes tightly closed shut and her clenched fist shaking at her side._

_Kurt did not want to see Rachel get hit. Especially not by her father. Sure, she could be annoying at times but no one deserved this._

_He tilted his head to the side as Hiram lowered his arm and maniacally chuckled to himself. Kurt seemed to be just as lost as Rachel._

_"You haven't lost yet." Hiram said before walking back to the auditorium._

_Once Hiram was finally gone, Kurt looked back to see a single tear roll down Rachel's cheek. She looked so broken and alone. The sight of it went straight for Kurt's gut instead of tugging at his heartstrings._

_Rachel quickly wiped the tear away and took a deep breath before walking back towards the hallway. Not wanting to be seen, Kurt took off to get back to the room before the brunette could._

* * *

By the time Kurt had finished his story, Santana felt anger boiling deep in her system.

It burned so bad. It was like fire lacing her veins and creeping up her spine. Her face became rigid, jaw clamped tight, teeth grinding. Her skin was a sore looking red but all she could feel was desire to hate. The desire to hate Rachel's father even more.

Santana wanted to spit out foul and vulgar words she would be stared at for screeching out with every ounce of breath she had. But she didn't have time to since the bell sounded to announce the end of class.

Kurt got out of his seat and signalled at Santana to call him as he left the class.

Santana just shook off what had just happened. She didn't have time to dwell on it now since she had a two hour mandatory cheerios practice. She didn't want to have to do extra laps again if she were late. She felt like what coach Sylvester was going to have them do today was enough already. She didn't want to pass out due to exhaustion.

So, she just took off to the locker room with Quinn and Brittany by her side, making a mental note to call Kurt later.

* * *

Cheerios practice was exactly what Santana expected it to be - pure and utter exhaustion.

Coach Sylvester put together a new routine which contained moves she didn't even know were possible to execute.

_Thank god she didn't bring a canon this time._

As the Unholy Trinity practically limped their way back to the locker room while panting and gasping to get air back into their lungs, they saw some other girls getting carried out on gurneys.

_What a surprise._

"I… am never… agreeing… to two hours… of practice… ever… again." Santana gasped out as she tried to catch her breath on one of the benches in the locker room.

Despite Santana's protests of wanting to see Rachel as soon as possible, the three cheerleaders took separate showers, Quinn and Brittany finishing first as usual. Santana always took a while when showering, even when there was a rush.

They were the last girls in the locker room as Quinn and Brittany eventually got tired of waiting.

"We'll meet you in the parking lot, Santana!" Brittany called out as the two blondes swung their bags over their shoulders and exited the locker room.

Santana huffed once the door closed behind Quinn and Brittany.

_What are they so impatient for?_

* * *

Santana picked up the pace in the shower when she remembered Rachel.

She stepped out of her stall once she finished and wrapping a towel around her as she dried her hair as much as possible with another one, wanting to look presentable for Rachel.

She quickly wore the spare clothes she brought, stuffing her sweaty uniform which now carried an unbearable stench in her bag.

Once she felt prepared, Santana carried her bag and put it over her shoulder, turning around to a sight she was _not_ expecting to see.

Quinn Fabray carrying an unconscious Brittany S. Pierce in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! in the next chapter, it is revealed what happened to brittany and rachel makes an appearance after her absence in the present day here and she has a conversation with kurt.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't updated in a while because i got caught up with life but this chapter contains hummelberry friendship and a flashback to what happened to brittany while she was with quinn.

Rachel couldn't stop thinking about that phone call. 

She had to get out of bed before her father did something harmful. She didn't want anyone to end up in a hospital bed because she couldn't find a way to do what he wanted her to. She took it as a good sign that it was well past noon and nothing had happened. 

_ Maybe he was just trying to scare me into going there, _

Still, she didn't let her guard down. She would never be able to forgive herself if something happened to one of her teammates. Especially Santana.

As much as she thought about it, the brunette couldn't wrap her head around the idea of caring about the Latina. 

Sure, she had felt attracted to her at one point but that was before all of the teasing and bullying. Why would one of her biggest tormentors suddenly be interested in protecting her? It just didn't make any sense to her.

In the past couple of years, Rachel has learned to lower her expectations, especially when it concerned people, to avoid getting hurt. She couldn't risk getting heartbroken considering the state she was in. What if it was all just one big prank to humiliate her? It wasn't a crazy idea after all. 

_ This is Santana Lopez we're talking about. _

Her heart wouldn't bear someone else disappointing her or leaving her when she already gets attached to things and holds on too tightly. 

If her father found out she's been thinking about it, it would definitely not end well.

* * *

Rachel was suddenly broken out of her thoughts by a knock at the door. Expecting Santana to be paying her another visit, she looked up to find Kurt standing at the doorway. 

She wanted to speak. She wanted to ask him what he was doing there but it was proven to be impossible due to the lump forming in her throat.

Her head suddenly started to fill up with questions. 

_ Does he know? How would he know? Did Santana tell him? What if Santana told everyone? Is Kurt just here to laugh in my face?  _

Before she could think of anything else, she felt a hand grasp hers. She instantly flinched at the sudden contact but eventually felt herself calm down once she saw Kurt wearing an apologetic look on his face and a weak smile.

That was when she couldn't take it anymore. 

Feeling overwhelmed by recent events, Rachel just broke down, no longer attempting to stifle her sobs. 

Her crying was both ferocious and noisy. She blinked briny tears from bloodshot eyes, her thick lashes stuck together in clumps as if she had been swimming. The tears made wet tracks down her face and dripped from her wobbling chin.

At this point, she wasn't only crying because of recent events. She was crying because that was the moment everything came back to her. Everything that  _ he _ had ever done to her. 

If she could just curl up into a ball, she wouldn't have to face real life. She'd be protected from everything around her. But she'd still have to live with herself. With the wretched memories swirling around in her head. 

Her eyes, red and puffy from crying, squeezed shut to push more tears out. No matter what she did, there was no way she could hide from the thoughts in her head. There was no way she could hide from  _ him  _ forever.

"Are you okay, Rachel?" Kurt asked in a low voice, not wanting to startle the emotionally and physically drained girl.

Rachel sniffled and held back the other tears that wanted to escape. She wiped away those that had made their way down her cheeks and took a deep inhaled breath. 

She didn't want to sound as weak as she seemed. As much as she tried not to, her answer still came out in a quivery and shaky tone, her voice failing her and cracking at the last word.

"I'm fine." 

_ No, I'm not.  _

Before he could say anything else, she spoke again in a familiar fast pace. "How did you know I was here? Did Santana tell you? Did she say anything else? Does anyone else know? Did you-"

"Rachel," She stopped and looked at him. "You're rambling, sweetie." Kurt said and slightly chuckled as he noticed the guilty look on Rachel's face.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. I'd rather hear you ramble than see you cry your eyes out," Kurt pointed out as Rachel nodded and stared at the ceiling. "And to answer your questions, no, Santana didn't tell me you were here or anything else about you and I don't think anyone else knows," Rachel looked at him expectantly. Kurt hoped she wouldn't notice he didn't answer one of her questions. "And as to how I found out you were here, I was driving to your house so that I could check on you but all I found was police tape everywhere. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together with everything I knew."

Kurt noticed how Rachel furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, remembering he didn't tell her the whole story. 

So, he did. 

As he did, many emotions played out on Rachel's face. 

Scared that anyone else noticed how she kept messing up the dance routine. Confused as to why Kurt never asked about why her father was yelling at her during Sectionals. Shocked that Santana was actually trying to hide what really happened.

"There are obviously things that I'm not aware of so would you mind filling me in?" Kurt asked but all he got in return was a shrug. "Rachel?"

"I just don't want to talk about it," Rachel quickly answered. 

Kurt didn't insist on the subject. It was obvious she was not ready or just didn't trust him enough. Although he couldn't blame her, he sighed. Suddenly, a thought came to mind.

"Then can I ask you a completely unrelated question?" Kurt asked, getting a nod in return this time. "Do you like Santana?" 

The soprano didn't miss the way Rachel's eyes slightly widened or the way her lips twitched at the question.

"How did you… Why would you…" Rachel trailed off but Kurt relieved her of her confusion the moment he opened his mouth.

"I doubt the person who has bullied you for as long I can remember would be the only one who knows about what's been going on with you if you didn't like her," Rachel opened her mouth to interrupt but Kurt didn't let her. "Don't worry. She likes you too," Kurt knew Rachel was probably going to ask him how he knew so he just continued. "She was practically staring at you the whole time we were rehearsing the dance number and-"

"Probably because I kept messing it up like I mess up every-"

"Stop right there. Let me finish," Rachel huffed but let him go on anyway. "She was the first person by your side when you fainted and she was in complete panic mode. I never thought I'd  _ ever  _ see  _ Santana Lopez  _ with that look on her face," Rachel slightly chuckled to herself, imagining how it played out in her mind. "She insisted on being the one to take you to the nurse's office and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have tried so hard to hide what really happened if she didn't care about you too."

"Thank you." was all Rachel said once Kurt finished talking. The boy simply nodded with a half smile on his face.

Now that Rachel has properly thought about it, maybe Santana did like her after all. 

All of what Kurt mentioned added with how the Latina kept insisting on what happened to her in the bathroom, how she drove to her house since she was worried, how she took her to the hospital and how she easily comforted her. 

Even with all of that, she still had low expectations for good reasons. But then, it hit her. 

_ Where is Santana?  _

She figured the dark skinned girl would've been back by now. 

_ What if he did something to her?  _

She didn't even want to think about that.

Kurt felt Rachel tense up which made him change the subject.  

They talked about things like Blaine recently joining the New Directions, Mr. Schue letting Sugar in because of his insane policy of anyone who auditions getting in and what songs they would like to include in the Sectionals setlist. Most of the songs they had in mind originated from the Broadway catalogue. 

Time just passed by without any of them noticing.

* * *

Suddenly, another knock at the door was heard. 

But this time, Rachel was met with the sight of a red eyed Quinn Fabray who looked as if she had been crying, shocking the other two in the room. 

Kurt just got out of his chair and left, not wanting to intrude on the girls' private conversation. Quinn gave the boy a grateful look before sitting in the seat besides Rachel's bed. 

The blonde broke the silence soon enough.

"Before you ask, Santana only told Puck, Brittany and I about what happened and we don't plan on telling anyone else without your permission." 

Rachel nodded, but was still curious as to why Quinn was in tears and where Santana was. She intended on finding out.

"What happened, Quinn?" 

After taking a deep breath, Quinn recalled to Rachel what happened after she and Brittany left Santana in the locker room.

* * *

_ Quinn and Brittany were walking down the empty parking lot when a masked man suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of Quinn, crowbar in hand.  _

_The smaller blonde's heart raced at tremendous speeds. A vivid imagination made her wonder whether it was just her mind playing tricks or reality. She couldn't ignore the beating of her own heart as it pounded with futility against its cage of bone and cartilage._ _Her head became little a giddy and her stomach nauseous. Her head shook from side to side, almost too slight to notice, part tremble and part deliberate._

_ Before she knew it, Quinn was being pushed to the ground as a stray of blonde hair appeared in front of her.  _

_ She hit the concrete with a thud but almost immediately looked up to find Brittany being smacked in the side of the head by the unknown man’s weapon. _

_ Quinn wanted to stand up and defend herself but fear prevented her from doing so. She looked at the unconscious Brittany with worried eyes. Blood was oozing out of a cut on the side of her head and her eyes were closed shut. _

_ The concern was soon replaced by panic as their attacker started approaching her. He raised his crowbar, ready to finish what he started. Quinn put her arm in front of her in a desperate attempt to shield her face.  _

_ She closed her eyes, waiting for the impactful blow, but when a minute passed by and nothing came, Quinn reopened her eyes to find out that the masked man had disappeared. _

_ Her first thought was Brittany.  _

_ Quinn ignored the pain the cut she had obtained on her knee from being sent to the ground gave her and crawled as fast as she could to the unconscious blonde. The sight of the blood almost initiated a gag reflex. Quinn covered her mouth with her hand in shock.  _

_ She then began to shake Brittany, desperately trying to wake her up. _

_ "Wake up, Brittany!"  _

_Quinn didn't even realize her eyes were brimming with tears._ _She had a hand over her mouth, the other rigidly clutching Brittany, her eyelids shut so tightly they began to fidget and shudder from the bullish force._

_ "C'mon! Wake up!"  _

_ Her voice started growing more and more shaky. She continued to relentlessly shake one of her best friends with both hands, pleading for her to wake up.  _

_ Quinn was openly sobbing at this point. Slim and bare shoulders shook in each rake of emotion through her frame.  _

_ "Please." _

_ Quinn eventually stopped shaking Brittany, finding it useless to continue doing so if it was having no effect.  _

_ She needed to get help.  _

_ The smaller cheerleader wiped away her tears and breathed in, trying to compose herself. She then bent down and placed a kiss on her wounded friend's forehead, stifling a sob as she did so.  _

_ Quinn then picked Brittany up in her arms and made her way to the locker room so that she could inform Santana of what happened. _

* * *

A fresh batch of tears had made their way down Quinn's cheeks as she recounted the story. 

She turned to Rachel, wanting to see her reaction. But nothing. 

Rachel felt confused and shocked at the same time but none of those two expressions made their way to her facial features. 

She was having a hard time processing the news.

"Rachel?"

"My father did this…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! i hope the long wait was worth it. next chapter will feature a conversation between rachel and quinn. there's gonna be a lot of faberry friendship in this fic. and there'll also be a flashback to santana finding out what happened when quinn came back with brittany and santana will be in brittany's hospital room. it'll definitely be up faster than this chapter was posted.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter reveals what happened when quinn came back to meet santana in the locker room because of what happened to brittany and the rest is all faberry. if i'm not writing a fic where they're dating then i'm making them best friends because i can.

Santana sat beside Brittany's hospital bed.

The blonde was still out of it even though Dr. Lopez clearly stated all she got was a concussion. She looked more peaceful than ever just lying there.

Santana anticipated getting to the hospital but not for this reason. All she wanted to do was go check on Rachel. She didn't want to leave until Brittany woke up though which is why she sent Quinn to see how the small brunette's doing.

Santana thought back to when Quinn showed up with Brittany in her arms and wondered if things would've turned out differently had she she left with them.

* * *

_Santana's eyes widened at the sight before her._

_It seemed like time had stopped and it was now impossible to even move a limb. She wanted to do something. She wanted to scoop Brittany up in her arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay, trying to convince herself more of that._

_But she couldn't move. As much as she tried, she couldn't. And the lump forming in her throat had rendered her speechless. Nothing happened until a couple more seconds passed._

_"What the hell happened, Quinn?" Santana spat out as she hurried towards the pair, eyes filled with panic and confusion, scanning the wounded blonde's frame._

_It was clear as day that Quinn was in the same emotional state as Santana. Only worse. Well, she did have to witness Brittany getting smacked with a crowbar. A moment that she will never be able to erase from her memory._

_The fact that she was the only conscious person who could talk about what happened was what caused her to open her mouth, only to let out gut wrenching sobs that wracked her trembling body._

_What didn't go unnoticed by Santana was the way Quinn's legs were wobbling, seemingly desperate to allow the blonde's body to meet the tiled floor. But before any of that could happen, Santana picked Brittany up from Quinn's arms, and a second later, Quinn's knees made contact with the floor._

_Streaks of fire burned Quinn's cheeks. Each new wave a hot trail of agony. Fire of sadness and anger burned just under her skin and a deep emptiness filled her heart as the sentiments brewed over and boiled past the seams she could no longer hold together._

_Santana gently rest Brittany's body on the floor before approaching Quinn and laying a hand on the weeping blonde's shoulder, startling her for a second._

_As Santana kneeled down beside her, she couldn't help but be reminded of the time she had to hold Quinn as she cried her eyes out when she found out about being pregnant. Obviously, Santana was the first person Quinn had told about the pregnancy._

_"Just breathe in," Santana said as Quinn managed to stop crying and took a deep breath. "And breathe out," And that she did. "Now, I'm going to ask you again. What happened, Quinn?"_

_Quinn's teary eyes roamed Brittany's physically drained body. All she wanted to do was burst into tears again at the sight but she was somehow capable of keeping the waterworks at bay. She took Santana's advice again and breathed in, then out, before finally formulating a coherent answer._

_"I'm not so sure. It all happened so fast," Quinn visibly flinched at the memory. "We were just walking around in the parking lot. Then, out of nowhere, some guy in a ski mask came up to us. He… He…" She was once again struggling to get the words out. Santana squeezed Quinn's shoulder, encouraging her to continue. So, she did. "He tried to hit me with a crowbar but B-Brittany just pushed me out of the way and he got her instead… Next thing I knew, he was gone," Quinn hung her head low as she finished recounting the story. "She saved me."_  

_Quinn looked up to catch a glimpse of how Santana would react to this new information._

_All she saw was how Santana had her teeth clenched and how her fist was curled up in a tight ball at her side, all her attention now being on Brittany's unresponsive body. The blonde also noticed the hard grip the Latina now had on her shoulder._

_Quinn knew Santana wasn't going to take this well at all._

_"We have to get her to the hospital." was all Santana said before they took off._

* * *

Anxiety to Santana was like being hooked up to a cattle fence; not enough voltage to kill but enough to keep things uncomfortable.

That was the downside of knowing things were awful instead of living in blissful ignorance. But what was there to do other than breathe, walk and figure things out one step at a time? That thought made Santana get up and walk around the hallways, thinking things through.

* * *

Meanwhile, Rachel witnessed Quinn's facial expression quickly shift from sorrow to confusion.

Quinn glanced upward, her mouth pursed but slightly open and loose. Her eyes were fixed as if she was looking at something a yard behind the brunette's head. Quinn blinked and refocused as Rachel called her name.

That didn't mean she was any less lost than before.

"What… What are you talking about, Rachel?"

Rachel was conflicted.

She didn't know how to say it or if she should even say it at all. It was too late though. She brought it up and now it was time to give an explanation. She didn't want to but she had to. Even if that meant losing Santana and Quinn in the process. 

_Why would they stick around if I'm the reason their best friend is in the hospital?_

"I… I got a call from my father this morning. And he, well… He told me he'd h-hurt someone from Glee club if I didn't meet up with him at some motel by noon," Rachel stopped for a moment, trying to read Quinn's face. Once she failed to do so, she continued. "And I tried. I _really_ tried but they wouldn't let me leave. I understand if you wish to never speak to me again. I mean, that’s how Santana will feel when she finds out this was all my fault but... I want you guys to know that I'm really sorry and if there were anything I could do at the moment, I would do it in a heartbeat. Well, unless it involves animal cruelty or-"

"Rachel, stop!"

Rachel stopped in the middle her familiar rambling and looked back at Quinn.

_This is it. I'm dead._

She prepared herself for what could be the worst onslaught of insults Quinn would ever dish out on her. She knew it would hurt but she was used to it at this point, having lived with her father and having attended McKinley.

Besides, she figured she deserved it anyway so what's the point of begging for forgiveness?

"This is not your fault," Quinn said in in a low voice, causing Rachel's breath to hitch. The small brunette was not expecting that at all to say the least. "Your father, if you can even call him that, is the sick bastard who did this and you had nothing to do with it," Quinn noticed Rachel's mouth open to argue but she didn't let her and just continued. "Who knows what he would've done to you if you had gone to him especially in your condition and-"

"And that means I'm the most selfish person in the world." Rachel interrupted but Quinn quickly retaliated her retort.

"Rachel, don't you even dare say that. You are the least selfish person I know. Would someone who only cares about herself be willing to leave a hospital days after being found in a pool of her own blood, go meet the person who has harmed her numerous times in the past and risk her own life just so that she could protect people who have been giving her nothing but crap for the past couple of years?" Quinn took Rachel's stunned expression as a sign to continue. "Exactly. Look, I'm not saying I'm glad he put Brittany in a hospital bed. I'm just saying I'm glad he didn't put you in a coffin." Quinn's voice cracked at that last word as Rachel's eyes brimmed with tears but she somehow held them back.

"Thank you." was all Rachel managed to choke out as she simply received a nod in return.

That was when Quinn remembered what she had been meaning to say all along.

"Rachel, I'm sorry," Rachel's eyes immediately shot up once she heard Quinn's trembling tone. "I'm so _so_ sorry." That was when a few tears were shed on the blonde's part.

"What?"

"I just… I wanted to apologize for being such a bitch to you. No one deserves that. Especially with everything you were going through."

"So, what I understand from that is that it would've been fine if I wasn't dealing with anything. If this is all just some kind of pity, I don't want it," Rachel stopped for a moment and took a deep breath to prevent herself from getting annoyed. "Did it really take me almost dying for you to realize what you were doing was-"

"Shitty? As a matter of fact, yes, it did," Quinn interrupted quickly. She had to say this. "What happened to you made me realize how fragile life can be and how short it actually is. I don't know why others treat you the way they do but I do know why Santana, Brittany and I did it. It's not an excuse for doing it. I own up to that but I really think you should know this."

Quinn stopped, waiting for Rachel's approval.

"Okay. Go on."

"Well, it dates back to when I met Santana in first grade. As you may have heard a while ago, I looked nothing like this and everyone kept bullying me because of how fat or ugly I was. I hated myself at that age. So, there was this one time where some older girls kept teasing me and they just wouldn't leave. Next thing I knew, Santana was in front of me, saying words my parents told me to never use and she practically slapped one of the girls' head off when she tried to criticize her accent," Quinn smiled when she noticed a slight chuckle escape Rachel's lips. "She taught me how to never take crap from anyone and she was the one protecting me from all of the bullies. If it wasn't for her, I would've never gotten the courage to defend Brittany when some of the guys were picking on her and calling her stupid," Quinn took a moment to think back at how the trio was formed. "Before we started high school, we promised each other that we were going to get to the top no matter who we had to step on to ensure that we would never have to go through that phase ever again," Quinn waited for Rachel to answer but decided to speak when the silence was getting too much. "I never thought I'd live to see the day when the great Rachel Berry would be speechless."

That seemed to have brought Rachel out of her trance.

"Oh, I... Uh… Well, it's just a lot to process." Rachel finally said as Quinn simply nodded.

"I know it's messed up and wrong and we shouldn't have done it in the first place to anyone but especially to you. You of all people deserve more than that."

"Why me?"

"I think I’ve made that pretty clear. If not, then here's a couple of reasons why. First of all, you are the most forgiving person in that hellhole of a school. Second of all, you're so strong to still be standing after everything that's been thrown at you by us or your father. Third of all, you are not selfish considering you were willing to risk your own life for people who don't deserve to have you in the first place. Should I continue?"

"There's more? I didn't even think there was-"

"Oh, shut up and stop putting yourself down. I guess I'll just continue then. Fourth of all,-"

"Okay, stop! I get it. I get it,” Rachel said while slightly unintentionally giggling, putting a smile on Quinn's face. "Thank you. I really needed that."

"It's the least I could do," Quinn winked at her, causing a _genuine_ smile to appear on Rachel's face. "So, are we good?"

"Well, it may take a while getting used to but-"

Rachel stopped and cast a look at the door, making Quinn wonder why she hadn't continued her sentence. That was until the blonde followed her line of sight which fell on Santana.

"I should give you guys some privacy. I've got to check on Brittany anyway." Quinn said as she got up, Santana sending her a grateful look.

Quinn was halfway through the door when she heard Rachel call out her name.

"Quinn, wait!" Rachel yelled out, causing Quinn to quickly whipped around.

"What?"

"I forgive you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! in the next chapter, rachel is out of the hospital (so is brittany but we there's not much of her for now) and there finally is a pezberry interaction after all this time.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally a new chapter with a pezberry interaction.

As Santana entered the living room with a bowl of popcorn in her hands, she wondered how it got to this point.

The school year had literally just started, and she was having movie nights with Rachel Berry of all people. They were even about to watch Rent and Chicago back to back since those were the only musicals Santana owned and really liked.

There was a lot of teasing on Rachel's part when she found the DVD boxes. Santana Lopez wasn't exactly the kind of person you'd expect to even _tolerate_ any musical whatsoever.

It was on Friday night; two days since the whole incident with Brittany, two days since Rachel had her talk with Quinn, and two days since Antonio signed all of the necessary paperwork to take custody of Rachel for the time being.

He might not have admitted it, but Antonio finds it very clear when his daughter is head over heels for someone. And if he didn't know already, Santana's reaction to the announcement definitely gave it away.

Oh, and it had also a day since Brittany told Santana she was _so_ whipped after being discharged, leaving a very confused Latina on her house porch.

Brittany and Rachel haven't talked yet since the brunette still felt a tinge of guilt after what happened in the school parking lot, despite everyone constantly telling her it wasn't her fault.

Everyone aware of the situation helped Rachel with the move into Santana's house in different ways.

Kurt helped Santana decorate the guest room so that it would match Rachel's old one considering he was the one who spent the longest time in there. And Quinn picked out the food since her sister was a vegan and she was aware of her favorite meals.

Brittany was the one who took over the clothes section since she was the most stylish in Santana's eyes, Kurt clearly being offended by that statement.

Puck only hung around for the heavy lifting when there was something too heavy to put in the room. Santana could've done that herself but she enjoyed bossing Puck around way too much to let that happen.

Kurt only found out about the entire situation when Rachel gave Santana permission to tell him and only him. Not even Blaine was allowed to find out until further notice.

Besides, there wasn't much information to spread anyway.

Rachel only told them she's been living in an abusive home with one dad. No one was able to get out of her what he specifically did to her. They weren't pushing as hard as they did in the beginning though. It was clearly not something easy to talk about. That and add in the fact they weren't exactly the most kind to her over the years.

Then again, no one was.

* * *

There was no sign of Hiram since he attacked Brittany. They took that as both a good and bad sign.

He just disappeared. It could've been because he finally decided to back off. That was highly unlikely but hey, one can dream. It also could've been because he started plotting an even worse plan. What could be worse than what he's already done anyway? Nobody wanted to know.

After being discharged, Rachel was told to take it slow since she hasn't completely healed yet. She was also informed that it would be wiser to not go to school until she was feeling better both physically and mentally.  

The scars on her skin were horrible but at least they would heal over time. However, the scars she was suffering from on the inside might not. Not ever.

The first thing Santana showed Rachel once they got home on Friday afternoon was the guest room and the smaller girl's reaction was priceless. Santana almost fell to the floor after Rachel practically jumped into her arms from pure joy and excitement.

They casually talked all day as if nothing were wrong until they decided to watch a movie after both Maribel and Antonio went out for dinner. And Mateo was out camping with his friends for the weekend.

That meant the two girls had the house to themselves for the night.

* * *

Santana and Rachel were both seated on the couch as they silently watched Rent, eating a piece of popcorn from time to time.

Santana hated being quiet. She wanted to talk to Rachel. All this 'pretending to be fine' crap was not working for her anymore. Just when she was about to say something, she felt her phone vibrate on the couch and picked it up to read the text message.

 _Just called Raf to let him know Rachel will be living with us from now on. Turns out he's too sick to even get out of the house. He's not staying over for the weekend anymore._ – Mom.

To say Santana was relieved is an understatement.

She didn't want to deal with Rafael while taking care of Rachel and sorting out the messed up feelings she wasn't used to having. Rachel was already in a bad place and Rafael would have just made things worse.

Santana momentarily zoned out and internally smirked at the thought of having the house to themselves for the weekend. Mateo would still be out of the house and her parents had work to take care of. Santana was suddenly broken out of her thoughts by Rachel's voice.

"What is it?" Santana looked over to Rachel who no longer had her eyes to the screen.

"Huh?"

"You just seemed out of it," Rachel pointed out. "Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

Santana sensed Rachel start to panic. She answered without a second thought.

"What? No, of course not. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what is it?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just that I'm relieved my cousin is too sick to leave the house," When Rachel furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, Santana felt the need to clarify. "That didn't come out right. What I meant to say was… I'm glad he's not coming because having him over means actually babysitting him and he's a total man child."

"Is he that bad?"

"Do you want another Noah Puckerman in your life?" When Rachel rapidly shook her head, Santana chuckled to herself. "Yeah, well, he's worse."

As Santana turned her attention back to the movie, she overheard Rachel muttering something under her breath.

"I didn't even know that was possible."

Santana felt some movement on the couch and looked down to find Rachel laying her head on the Latina's shoulder.

She smiled and let out a sigh of relief that she managed to get to Rachel on time. Santana didn't even want to think about what would've happened if she was too late to save her. Maybe she could pretend she were fine until the end of the movie.

Once the movie came to an end, Rachel lifted her head up from its position on Santana's shoulder so that she could pop in the Chicago DVD but something stopped her.

She felt a hand grab her wrist once she stood up which caused her to unconsciously squirm away from the touch and close her eyes, struggling to regulate her breathing.

"I… I'm sorry." Rachel slowly cracked her eyes open to see Santana looking at her with an apologetic look on her face.

"You shouldn't apologize. I was just overreacting," Rachel said as she sat back down on the couch. "Your touch isn't like his so I don't know why I get so startled. I know you're not going to do me any harm. I guess it's just going to take some time to get used to it."

"No, don't. Just… don't," Santana answered as she let out a sigh. "I know you don't like anyone grabbing you by surprise so it's my bad. I shouldn't have done it."

"Shall we continue our movie musical marathon?" Rachel quickly changed the subject, not wanting to dwell on her insecurities any longer than they already had, flashing a smile afterwards.

But Santana knew that smile. It was obvious. It was her _fake_ smile.

"Don't do that, Rachel."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't smile when you want to cry. Don't say you're fine when you're not. It never ends well."

"I… I don't know what you're talking about."

"You might be fooling everyone else, Rachel… But you're not fooling me," Rachel cast a look at her lap as she nervously fiddled with her fingers, wanting to avoid Santana's gaze at all costs. That didn't work out too well. Santana lifted Rachel's chin up with her finger, determinedly staring into her brown eyes. "It's okay to be selfish sometimes. Especially when the world has been so selfish towards you. If you want to cry, you can cry. If you want to yell, you can yell. Don't keep it all inside or you'll explode. I know it's hard to ask for help. But there comes a time in your life where you tell yourself 'I'm not wonder woman. I can't do it all alone.' Even _I_ thought I could and it didn't end well. Don't let him ruin your life. He does not define who you are. He's a low life who takes pleasure in making good people like you suffer just so that he can feel better about himself. But that's not going to stop Rachel Berry. Not on my watch," Santana reached out and softly grabbed Rachel's hand. "It's going to take a while before you can go back to normal. But when you do, you are getting out of this crappy town and you are making something of yourself. After graduation, you better head straight to Broadway and you better never look back."

Out of nowhere, Rachel launched herself at Santana and wrapped her arms around her, burying her face in the Latina's neck.

Rachel Berry finally broke down.

Santana held the weeping girl closer to her, running her hand up and down her back while whispering reassuring words in her ear.

Santana was doing everything in her power to not shed any tears. She needed to be strong. Rachel clutched onto Santana, holding on to her as if she were her life line, sobbing even harder in the process.

Once Rachel's sobs started turning into soft whimpers, Santana pulled back to take a look at her tear streaked face.

She shot the brunette in her arms a small smile before leaning over and pressing a kiss to her forehead. The corners of Rachel's lips twitched as she looked up at Santana.

"Can I ask you question?" Rachel asked in a low voice.

"Shoot."

"Are… Are you going to leave me when this is all over? Are you going to kick me out? I am turning 18 soon so-"

"I wouldn't leave you even if I wanted to," Rachel was stunned by how quickly Santana replied. "I look after the people I care about all the time. Not only when they have a problem." 

"Wait… You… You care about me?" Santana would've been amused by how shocked Rachel was if the situation wasn't so serious.

"Are you just figuring that out? Besides, would I still be here if I didn’t?" Rachel hesitantly shook her head before letting Santana continue. "Look, I know I've been a bitch to you throughout all of high school. I'll admit it. I had some issues and that was my way of coping. It was wrong and-"

"You don't need to give me that speech. Quinn already did and I forgive you."

Santana playfully rolled her eyes at Rachel's answer.

_Of course she did._

"Point is, you're stuck with me from now on. I can't guarantee that it'll all be okay but what I can guarantee is that I’ll try to make it as okay as possible. You can't get rid of me now. I will do my best to protect you. _He_ won't be able to even lay a finger on you as long as I'm around."

"That goes both ways." Santana snorted before laying the back of her head down on the couch.

"Come here."

Santana pulled Rachel to her side and started to gently stroke her arm as her chin rested on the smaller girl's head.

"Santana?"

"Yeah?"

"You said it didn't end well when you thought you could do it alone and that you had some issues that you coped with by insulting people. What did you mean by that?"

Santana's face fell as she thought about it for a few seconds.

Rachel felt like a hypocrite by asking Santana questions about her problems while she still refused to open up. Plus, Santana had been so patient with her, not pushing her at all to tell her about all the things her father did to her.

"Another time, Rachel. Another time." Santana finally answered as Rachel simply nodded in understanding.

* * *

A couple of minutes passed by as Santana and Rachel just lied there on the couch, enjoying each other’s presence and the fact that they could finally rest after letting it all out.

Although, it was Santana who broke the silence after taking a deep breath.

"I know this is going to seem sudden but I just want to tell you something before I explode. It's okay if you don't feel the same way and it's not the most appropriate time for things like this anyway but I…"

_Screw this. I'm going for it._

"I really like you, Rachel." Santana bit her lip as she impatiently waited for Rachel's answer. But she got none. "Rachel?" Santana looked down to find Rachel asleep on her shoulder. "Well, that’s just my luck.”

Santana sighed as she carefully removed Rachel's head from her shoulder, not wanting to wake the sleeping girl up.

Once the Latina was back on her feet, she lifted Rachel up with just as much care and attention. Santana climbed up the stairs to the guest room, carrying Rachel in her arms while doing so.

"God, I really am whipped."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! next chapter has even more pezberry content and a deeper look at how they're both feeling.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off, i'd like to clarify that this used to be entitled beyond repair but i recently changed it to this after being inspired by one of naya rivera's songs. i've been keeping myself busy for the past month which is why it took me so long to update but i hope the pezberry content in this chapter is worth the wait!!

Santana was woken up in the middle of the night by a startling scream.

She cracked her eyes open, and even in her sleep like state, it took her a minute to register the shriek came from the guest room. Completely forgetting how tired she was, Santana practically jumped out of the bed and ran down the hallway until she reached said room.

What she saw then tugged at her heartstrings.

Rachel was on the bed with her knees brought up against her chest as she slowly rocked back and forth, her arms tightly wrapped up around her legs, a weak whimper escaping her lips from time to time.

Santana's fist clenched at her side, instantly knowing who the cause of this was. If she could get her hands on Hiram Berry, he wouldn't live to see the next day.

But getting angry wouldn't help. Especially not now.

So, Santana cautiously approached Rachel, not wanting to frighten her in this state. She sat on the edge of the bed and gently placed her hand on the smaller girl's shoulder.

Rachel slightly flinched but eventually looked up to meet worried dark eyes. Santana noticed how puffy and bloodshot Rachel's eyes looked and it pained her to see that. No one should have to suffer like this.

"Hey," Rachel sniffled in response to Santana's voice. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not okay." Rachel's voice cracked and more tears spilled out of her eyes as she lowered her head.

"It's going to be okay." Santana soothed as she rubbed Rachel's back.

"No, it's not." Rachel replied in a low yet somehow steady voice.

"How do you know it's not?"

"How do you know it is?"

Truth is, Santana didn't know. She didn't expect Rachel to ask her that kind of question after abruptly waking up in tears.

There was nothing she could say at the moment that could give Rachel a sense of reassurance that everything was going to be okay. No one can predict the future. Life's a bitch and you're expected to keep going no matter what it throws at you.

While Santana couldn't prove that it was going to be okay, Rachel couldn't prove that it wasn't either.

"I don't. I may not know what's going to happen in the future but I can make sure that everything's okay now." Santana finally said.

"Sure." Rachel muttered under her breath. Santana got up to head out of the room since she was still pretty out of it.

"Goodnight."

"Wait!" Santana turned around at the sound of Rachel's voice and raised an eyebrow at her. "Could you… just… stay here until I fall asleep? And maybe… if you don't mind… hold me?" Santana was taken off guard by Rachel's question. "But it's fine if you don't-"

Santana had recovered from initial shock before Rachel got the chance to finish her sentence.

"No, it's fine!" Santana said a bit too loud. She immediately realized it and lowered her voice. "I don't mind."

"Oh, okay."

The smile that formed on Rachel's face after Santana agreed to her request caused the Latina to return it with no hesitation.

Rachel moved over and lied down on her side as Santana got in the bed and spooned the brunette from behind. Rachel's breaths evened out soon enough to signal she had finally fallen asleep.

Santana had been told to stay until the diva was able to drift off to sleep but the Latina wasn't interested in moving any time soon. She was satisfied with her position and she would take whatever she could get.

"I love you."

And just like that, Santana was out like a light.

What she hadn't noticed before falling asleep was her mother standing at the doorway with a smile on her face. Soon enough everyone would know of Santana's feelings for Rachel unless she actually made an effort to hide them.

Either way, it was impossible to hide and impossible to not notice. Well, unless you're Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry.

* * *

When the sun came out, Santana was the first awake out of the two.

She sat up and looked down at Rachel who had her eyebrows furrowed and who also seemed to be slightly shaking. Santana didn't want to wake her up considering it was early for someone who fell asleep as late as Rachel but she had to do something to let her know she was there.

So, she bent down and placed a kiss on the smaller girl's forehead. That seemed to have brought Rachel comfort since the shaking stopped and she seemed more at ease.

Santana smiled and got out of bed to make some healthy breakfast so that Rachel had something to look forward to when she wakes up after the night she'd had.

Thank god it was the weekend.

* * *

Rachel stirred awake a few hours later and slowly cracked her eyes open, relieved to have finally been able to rest in a comfortable bed.

She looked to her side to find it empty. She sighed since she selfishly wanted to see Santana's face when she woke up.

As soon as she got out of bed, her face contorted as pain shot through her side. She lifted her shirt up to find her stitched up stab wound. Rachel knew it would take time to heal but she didn't want to be reminded of it every movement she made.

After splashing water in her face to make sure she didn't look half dead, Rachel made her way downstairs to find Santana standing in the kitchen as she looked to be preparing something.

"Hey." Rachel quietly greeted before yawning. Santana looked up and smiled as soon as she spotted the sleepy brunette.

"Good morning, sleepy head. I was about to go wake you up myself."

"I couldn't have slept that long. What time is it?"

"It's noon."

"Oh, I had no idea. I apologize for keeping the bed occupied while you-" Rachel started speaking as she took a seat. Santana simply chuckled and shook her head at her before interrupting.

"It's fine, Rachel. You deserve it after what you've been through."

"So, what's this?" Rachel quickly changed the subject. Santana noticed but let it slide just this once.

"It's some berries and granola mixed in with vegan yogurt."

"Vegan yogurt? How come I didn't know you were a vegan?"

"That's probably because I'm not. I made that for you."

"Oh. How come you have vegan yogurt then?"

"Well, Quinn's sister is a vegan so she knew just what to get for you."

"I really appreciate it. I do. But…"

"But?"

"My father made me abandon the vegan lifestyle a while ago. He said that whenever I ate, which was rare, it had to be ‘real’ food."

"Well, I wish you told me that before Quinn made me spend my entire allowance on every vegan product available at the grocery story." 

"Sorry, I thought you would've known if you were with Quinn," Santana raised her eyebrow, clearly asking her to explain. "When the entire Glee Club went out for dinner at Breadstix that one time, I was sitting next to Quinn and she heard me order spaghetti with regular meatballs. I have no idea why she didn't tell you."

"Probably because she loves messing with me. I am so going to get her next time. And you can bet it's going to involve her precious bacon."

"Watch out then. She could use your obsession with breadsticks to level out the playing field."

"If she-" Santana paused. "Wait a second, How do you know I love breadsticks so much?"

"You make it very clear when you love something."

_Oh, you have no idea._

"Fair enough," Santana sighed before continuing. "Do you want me to make you something else then?"

"No, it's fine. I don't mind vegan products. I might've gotten used to regular food by now but I'm still okay with anything vegan related."

"Whatever you say. Glad to hear I won't have to put two different products in the basket then."

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought it would be a good idea to go on a picnic in a park close to my house when you woke up. I'm pretty sure you'll still be hungry after that and getting out of the house as much as possible could be good for you." Santana noticed how Rachel seemed hesitant and instantly knew why. "If you don't want to go because you’re worried your injuries might attract some unwanted attention, then don't worry. I've been going there for years and the place is usually empty at this time on a Saturday."

"Oh, good. Did you ask your parents?" Rachel asked, earning herself a confused look on Santana’s part.

"I don't really need to get permission from them to leave the house. Besides, they're out working all day and my brother isn't coming back until Sunday night so it doesn't really matter."

"Right. Sorry. It's just habits."

"I get it. You don't have to apologize every time."

"Well, sorry-" Rachel stopped herself immediately. "I mean, alright." Santana shot her a small smile.

"Dig in while I get stuff sorted out for the picnic." Santana called out as she left the kitchen to go find the basket they'd need for the food.

It didn't take Rachel much time to finish her late breakfast. She hadn't been too keen on eating what she was offered before whether it was by her father or the hospital so this was new.

By the time she was done, she went up to her room to get ready since she at least wanted to look presentable for this. Once she was satisfied with her appearance, she went back downstairs to find Santana waiting for her with the basket all ready.

It was a short walk to the park and it didn't take long to set up and get settled in.

* * *

They didn't really talk much while eating.  

Santana wasn't all that hungry in the morning so she simply drank a cup of coffee so she was starving at this point. Rachel just thought it felt nice to be eating food she was actually interested in for once and she wanted the taste to be the only thing on her mind.

But we all knew that wouldn't last, right?

"So, what was last night about?" Santana asked after finishing her turkey and cheese sandwich.

"Huh?"

"Why'd you wake up crying?"

"Oh. That." Rachel sighed, not really knowing if she wanted to explain.

"If you don't want to say why, it's fine with me. I don't want to pressure you into telling me or anything but I think it could really help if you talked about it. As a way of coping or whatever."

"Yeah, I think so too but it's just…"

"It's just what?"

"I don't want you to get mad at me or leave or-"

"I am not going anywhere, Rachel. You should know that by now. I meant it when I said I'm going to make sure everything's-"

"It still feels weird to me when you call me that."

"What?"

"You never used to call me Rachel. It was always either Rupaul or man hands or hobbit or-"

"Okay, first of all, Rupaul is actually a compliment," When Rachel tilted her head to the side in confusion, Santana elaborated. "Do you not watch Rupaul's Drag Race? I swear, that show's like crack and that man's a genius. Getting to meet him or guest starring on that show would be a dream come true." Rachel smiled and shook her head in amusement.

"Then where did man hands come from?" Rachel noticed Santana's face fall. "What's wrong?"

"I used to be a tomboy as a kid and I didn't really take care of my appearance much at the time." Santana took a deep breath. "Man hands used to be my nickname and I figured calling someone else that would soften the blow."

"Give me your hands." Santana didn't ask why. She trusted Rachel and so she let her grasp her hands.

"What is it?" Santana asked once she noticed Rachel was smiling.

"Those kids must've been insane because your hands aren't the least bit manly."

"Well, I must've been insane too because the same goes to you."

Both Rachel and Santana couldn't hold back a chuckle. They stopped as their eyes connected, not even realizing Rachel still had Santana's hands in hers. They stared into each other's eyes for a good couple of seconds before Rachel cleared her throat and dropped Santana's hands, snapping the Latina out of her state like trance in the process.

"So, what about hobbit?"

"If you tell anyone this, I'll deny it… but I'm a huge Lord of the Rings nerd," It was clear Rachel was trying to hold back a laugh. "Oh, yeah. One of the most popular girls at school is a secret nerd. Laugh it up." Santana sarcastically added in a playful manner.

"No, it's not that. It's just that you couldn't find something other than hobbit to insult me."

"Well, you sure do have height in common with a hobbit."

"You do realize you're practically as tall as I am, right?"

"No, I'm practically as tall as Quinn."

"But you still-"

"That's not the point," When Rachel didn't answer, Santana took it as a sign to continue. "The point is, I don't think calling you _my precious_ would've made me seem as threatening." Santana added, imitating Gollum's voice while saying the nickname.

"I actually like that." Rachel smiled and Santana felt her face turn red but quickly answered to not make a total fool out of herself.

"Well, look at who's the Lord of the Rings nerd now who understood that reference. Who would've thought that the Broadway geek-"

"Okay, I get it. I do like it."

"Thought so, _my precious_."

_Great job. Now you're turning into Sam fucking Evans with your stupid impressions._

"You left me." That definitely caught Santana's attention.

"Wait, what?"

"In my nightmare. He found us at school and you let him take me. You left me and you laughed with everyone, including the entire Glee Club, while he dragged me away. That's why I screamed when I woke up and why I was crying afterwards."

"Rachel, I-”

"I know it's ridiculous to be this upset about something that was in all in my imagination and didn't even happen… but it could." Rachel sighed. "I'm always on my feet to make sure he isn't anywhere close. I'm always worrying you could be pulling a prank on me. I'm always too scared to go to sleep because I feel like this is all just a dream and if I do sleep, I'll just wake up on my living room floor and I-"

That was when their lips connected.

Rachel was rambling so much that she didn't even notice how Santana inching closer to close the gap between them. The kiss was different than any both had ever witnessed. It was passionate yet not too passionate. It was slow yet not too slow. It was… just perfect.

It also confirmed things for Santana as the two pulled away and speechlessly gazed into each other's eyes.

_It's now or never._

"That was-"

"I love you, Rachel Berry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! next chapter will be the continuation of the picnic.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back with the continuation of the picnic and a surprise at the end...

_"I love you, Rachel Berry."_

"I know."

"No, you don't. I… Wait, what?" Rachel chuckled and Santana had never been more confused in her life.

_Am I that obvious?_

"I’ve heard you say it before."

"Really? When?"

"What do you mean by when? I only heard you last night," Now it was Rachel's turn to wear the look of confusion on her face. "How many times have you said it?"

"Oh. Just… Just last night."

_Great fucking job, Lopez._

"How did you even hear me? I thought you were asleep."

Santana noticed how Rachel's face fell.

"I guess I just got used to pretending to be unconscious while _he_ was around," Santana nodded in understanding. "I wanted to see if you would stay even after you thought I fell asleep… and then you said it."

"Yeah, well, it was stupid. Can we just move past this like it never-"

"I love you too."

_Oh._

"You… y-you what?"

"I love you too," Rachel repeated a little bit louder. "I have loved you ever since we met on the second day of freshman year."

* * *

_Rachel was walking down the hallway on her second day of high school._

_She had to admit; she expected people to be nicer and easier to interact with. As far as she knew, no one shared the same interests as her and it made her feel on the outside looking in. Her father had pressured her the night before to make friends since every star needed some._

_Although, according to Hiram, friends are just people who praise your every accomplishment and make it clear to everyone how great you are._

_That's not what Rachel wanted even though she had to act like it._

_What she really wanted were real friends who supported her but didn’t just act like fans. She knew what she wanted but she wasn't allowed to have it and she wasn't even going to try anymore. She didn't need to get yelled at by her father more than she already did._

_Once she finished rearranging her locker, she closed it and turned around to be met with freezing red slush, courtesy of a jock with a mohawk._

_Rachel had never felt this cold before in her life._

_What baffled her was how the students in the hallway actually found this funny when it was just humiliating for those on the receiving end of the slushy facial._

_She felt rooted to her spot as the liquid kept dripping onto the floor. It wasn't until a slap echoed throughout the halls that she lifted her head up._

_"What the hell, Lopez?" Puck hissed as Santana stood in front of him with her arms crossed, clearly sending a glare his way._

_"Save it, Puckerman. You deserved that but she didn't."_

_"Are you actually defending that loser?"_

_"It's only the second day of school and you're already calling her a loser? You don't know her story."_

_"Actually, I kinda do. I used to go to Temple with her as a kid. She was annoying back then and she still is." Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me. I know about the deal you made with Quinn and Brittany a couple of days ago. Are you already backing out? Are you going soft?"_

_"I think your dick should work on going soft when you're around chicks." Puck's eyes widened as he looked down at his crotch before quickly walking away from Santana who had a triumphant smirk plastered on her face. She then turned to a stunned Rachel. "Girls' bathroom is just around the corner."_

_As Santana walked away, Rachel felt herself blush and a small smile made its way onto her facial features._

_She didn't take off to the bathroom until the bell rang, which is when she realized she was just standing in the middle of the hallway, smiling like an idiot for the better part of five minutes._

_Even later in the day during class, that cheerleader would not leave her mind._

* * *

"Oh," Santana's eyes slightly widened as realization set in. "So, what do you want to do now?"

"I would love to be your girlfriend."

_Holy crap._

"But…"

_I can never win._

"But?"

"I just can't. Not now. Maybe even ever."

"What? Why?"

_I knew this would be a bad idea but it's not like she didn't find out before anyway because of my subtlety._

“It’s complicated.”

"You love me. I love you. What's so fucking complicated about that?" Santana regretted her harsh tone as soon as she saw the startled look on Rachel's face. "Sorry. I forgot."

"It's fine. It's just that…" Rachel sighed. "You deserve better than someone like me."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means you deserve better than someone who might have a panic attack at any second. Someone who isn't ready to come out yet. Someone who can't be completely open. Someone who doesn't know how to ignore criticism. Someone who has scars all over her body. Someone who can't satisfy you in an emotional or…" Rachel took a deep breath to compose herself so that she wouldn't break down. Not this time. "Or sexual way. Someone who's going to cause you trouble just by hanging out with you. Someone who can't be fixed. Someone's who's broken-"

"I'm going to stop you right there because I have an argument for every single one of your reasons."

"I doubt-"

"History shows I can handle your panic attacks and I will continue to do just that whether we're together or not. I can wait until you're ready to come out. I'm patient when I want to be so when you're up to talking about what happened to you, I'll be there. I can teach you the art of not giving a fuck once I've mastered it because I'm pretty sure I'll lash out at anyone who has a bad word to say about you. I love your scars because they show how much you were able to overcome and how strong you are. You already satisfy me but we can both work on helping each other be the best that we can be 'cause God knows I'm not perfect and I've had my fair share of issues. I'll cause anyone who has a problem with you or us trouble. You _can_ be fixed and you are _not_ broken anyway so there’s really nothing to fix if you think about it. There’s only room for improvement.”

"I…" Rachel didn't know what to say. It was rare for her of all people to be speechless. "I still don't think this is a good idea."

Santana sighed.

"I think I know what this is really about." 

"You do?"

"You still don’t think that this is real. You still don't trust me even after everything that’s happened because of how I used to treat you, something I will regret for the rest of my life, and you think this is all just some elaborate prank to humiliate you."

"What? No. It's not that at all. I mean, sure, it was one of my main concerns not that long ago but it's not what this is about."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm not scared I'll get hurt because of you. I'm scared you'll get hurt because of me."

Out of all the possible reasons Rachel could've mentioned, Santana would never have guessed that.

"Come again?" Santana had an eyebrow raised, clearly enquiring Rachel to explain.

"You saw what happened to Brittany. Who knows what he could do you? He won't stop until I'm back with him. I'm not letting anyone else get hurt because of me. Not if I can help it," Rachel closed her eyes and looked down. "Just drop it. I'm not worth it."

The last thing Rachel expected was what happened next.

She expected Santana to leave. She expected her to laugh in her face. She expected maybe even another pep talk since it looks like she's been taking lessons from Mr. Schue on how to deliver those.

Rachel definitely didn't expect Santana to wrap her arms around her and to silently sing to her. The smaller brunette instantly relaxed into her touch. It was unexpected but not unwelcomed.

Oh, why you look so sad?  
_Tears are in your eyes  
_Come on and come to me now

Don't be ashamed to cry  
_Let me see you through  
_'Cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you  
You don't know what to do  
_Nothing you confess  
_Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
_Won't let nobody hurt you  
_I'll stand by you

The fact Santana was singing that song put a smile on Rachel's face.

She knew why she chose to sing it and it gave her such a sense of reassurance and validation. It felt good to hear those words being sung to her by Santana Lopez nonetheless.

So if you're mad, get mad  
_Don't hold it all inside  
_Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?  
_I get angry too  
_Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads  
And don't know which path to choose  
_Let me come along  
_'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
_Won't let nobody hurt you  
_I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour  
_And I'll never desert you  
_I'll stand by you

Rachel now knew she wouldn't be able to get rid of Santana no matter how much she tried to push her away.  

This whole situation was just so new to her and she didn't know how to properly deal with it. Being with Santana was something she’s wanted for quite some time but was it really what she needed right now?

And when…  
When the night falls on you, baby  
_You're feeling all alone  
_You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you  
_I'll stand by you  
_Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you  
_Take me in, into your darkest hour  
_And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you  
_I'll stand by you  
_Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you  
_Won't let nobody hurt you  
_I'll stand by you

"I know you're scared of what might happen to me," Rachel looked up from Santana's arms when the Latina finally spoke. "But you should know that I don't care. Whether we end up together or not, just like the song says, I'll stand by you."

"Okay," Rachel simply said once she averted her gaze away from Santana's eyes. "We should probably head back home now."

As Rachel stood up, Santana knew that was all she was going to get out of her for the day. At least it was something.

_Baby steps._

* * *

It didn't take long for them to finish packing up and walk back home.

Santana then checked her phone for the first time in a while to find three missed calls from her dad and a bunch of text messages from Brittany.

She opened the texts first since she could just call her dad later… or maybe not since Brittany just told her everything she needed to know to go talk to her dad in person at the hospital.

"Get in the car, Rachel." Santana said in a frantic tone Rachel didn't recognize. It worried her.

"What's wrong?" Santana looked up from her phone screen and that's when Rachel saw them; unshed tears.

"Quinn's in the hospital."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed!! in the next chapter, what happened to quinn is (kind of) revealed as her friends pay her visit and rachel and santana then have a little talk.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? actually updating? practically unheard of but here we are

They were on their way to the hospital. They hadn't said a word to each other ever since they found out about Quinn. 

Santana knew Rachel was blaming herself all over again. It was pretty clear Hiram was the cause of their friend being hospitalized.

Considering Rachel still hadn't spoken to Brittany about what happened, it's safe to say she thinks it's all her fault. She has been muttering 'this is all my fault' to herself for most of the drive after all.

* * *

As soon as the car was parked, Rachel and Santana rushed out of the vehicle and got to the waiting room as fast as possible.

It took them by surprise to see Finn Hudson of all people sitting in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs alongside Brittany. 

Once she spotted them, the tall blonde got up and ran over to envelop Santana in her usual bone crushing hug. Finn walked over to them as well and was shocked to see Rachel.

"Rachel? What are you doing here? I thought you were sick." Finn asked.

"Oh, well, I'm actually feeling a lot better now. Thank you for the concern." Rachel answered with her fake smile which Santana now knew very well. 

"No problem." Santana wanted to slap the half smirk off of Finn's dopey face. At least he has the decency to keep his mouth shut about the bruises on her face. That's when she noticed it. The white bandage wrapped around Finn's hand. If he laid a hand on Quinn… "No, I didn't hit her, Santana." It was almost as if Finn could read her mind… or he just noticed the death glare Santana was sending his way while suspiciously eyeing his injured hand. "I protected her."

"Don't start acting like the hero. What the hell happened? You were there so talk." Santana said as Brittany released her from the hug. It took a while due to the guilt but Rachel eventually returned the blonde's hug.

"I was walking her home from our date last night when this drunk guy came out of nowhere with a crowbar." _Wait, what? Drunk guy? Rachel's dad wouldn't be that stupid._ "He shoved me aside and smacked her really hard in the head with it. I started punching him until I was sure he was out and that's how I hurt my hand."

"But-"

"Santana…" The Latina spun around to come face to face with her cousin who had bruises all over his face.

"Rafael? What are you doing here?" Santana frowned when her sights fell on him.

"He's the crazy guy who jumped us." Finn said from behind but then frowned. "How do you know his name?"

"Because he's my pathetic excuse of a fucking cousin." Santana lunged at an unsuspecting Rafael but was pulled away by her father who came out of nowhere. "What the hell, dad? Let me at him. He deserves it." The Latina seemed prepared to jump her cousin but was once again stopped by Antonio. "What?"

"I wanted you here so that you could visit your injured best friend. Not so that you could murder your cousin."

"But he-"

"I know what he did but that's already been taken care of." _His parents are just going to ground him, aren't they?_ "Now, do you want to see Quinn or not?"

"I do but there's just…" Santana glanced back at Finn who had sat back down on a chair. The Latina lowered her voice so he wouldn't hear. "We all know Rachel's dad planned the attack on Brittany but what if it wasn't him who did it? What if he hired Rafael for the job and he was too sloppy to hide it anymore? I mean it was the same weapon and God knows Rafael would do anything for money."

"Santana, that's insane." Antonio answered.

"He's not the one who attacked me." Brittany's voice was heard from behind Santana. They spun around to find the tall blonde standing in front of them with Rachel. Rafael was a good few feet away from them since he would like nothing more than to not have another confrontation with Finn. "The guy who attacked me was taller and Rafael is almost shorter than Rachel."

"And my father doesn't really rely on other people much." Rachel added. Santana shot the brunette a small smile, knowing it all goes back to how her father didn't have much faith in her.

"So…" Finn cautiously approached them since he noticed they were having a discussion without him. "Can we go see Quinn now or not?" Santana sent her father a look that clearly said 'we can't have him here'.

"Actually visiting hours are over early today." Antonio said with a fake apologetic look on his face. "Why don't you show Rafael out while I have a word with my daughter and her friends?" Rafael's eyes widened at the question.

"Sure, Doctor Lopez." Finn replied as he nodded towards Rafael so that they could move. "Are you coming, Rachel?" Santana had to roll her eyes. 

_Of course he did._

"No, I'm good. I'll just head back with Brittany and Santana." Rachel said.

"Oh… I guess that's… fine." Finn stuttered, not really understanding why Rachel would choose her tormentors over him. "I guess I'll see you at school on Monday."

"Yes, you will." Santana frowned and raised an eyebrow at Rachel. Wasn't she not going to school on Monday too? Rachel simply dismissed it. They needed to talk about this later.

Finn started walking out with a clearly frightened Rafael. Although Santana will never understand why the Latino avoided Rachel's gaze at all costs on his way to the door. 

_I'm sure it's nothing. He probably just doesn't know how to handle situations like Rachel's. Her mom did say she talked to him about it. Wait a minute…_

"Wait, Raf." The Latino stopped dead in his tracks and turned to Santana. "I thought you were too sick to get out of the house."

"Oh… I guess I just got better fast. It happens." Rafael nervously said before leaving. 

_Just like I thought; he doesn't know how to handle these situations._

"Can we see her now?" Santana asked and her father nodded.

* * *

Antonio led the way to their blonde friend's room and was glad to see she had woken up.

"I see you're finally awake now, Quinn." She tiredly nodded before a yawn escaped her lips. Antonio chuckled considering he knew how sleepy the girl could get even after a long night's rest due to when she slept over at the Lopez residence from all the times she got sick of her parents. "I'll let you guys have some alone time and then I'll be back."

As soon as Antonio left the room, Brittany launched herself at Quinn with a hug that the other girl lazily returned. It's not that she wasn't into it. It's just that she was still tired and it was quite hard to match Brittany's hugs. They could knock the wind right out of you but in a good way. 

Once Brittany released Quinn from her grip, she moved over to reveal Santana and Rachel. It wasn't shocking to Quinn that her mother hadn't shown up. Having her friends here was much better.

"I guess you're finally going to get that 'badass' scar you've always wanted." Santana brought up to break the silence, referring to the stitched up wound right above Quinn's eye due to the crowbar.

"I have to admit, it doesn't feel as good as I hoped it would." Quinn retaliated with a smile that was returned by the Latina as she bent down for a hug. The blonde's eyes then fell on Rachel, who was just awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do with herself. Quinn playfully rolled her eyes before extending her arms. "Come here, Ber- I mean Rachel."

A smile crossed the small brunette's face as she went over to give Quinn a hug of her own. "Wow, I think this is the first time Rachel's given a hug to someone without warning them first." Brittany mentioned as the others in the room lightly laughed.

"I, for one, would like a heads up the next time you suck the wind right out of me, Britt." Santana said with a playful smirk on her face.

"I second that." Quinn added and they all burst into laughter. Brittany really was tougher than she looked. She deserves more credit for that. "Would you guys mind if I just talked to Santana for a second?" 

Rachel and Brittany shook their heads and exited the room.

"I'm assuming you want to talk about how much you want to murder my dumbass of a cousin now?"

"Oh, trust me, I've wanted to do that as much as you have even though I'm not related to him long before this happened." Santana couldn't hold back the snort that escaped her.

"So, what is this about?"

"Have you kissed her yet?" Santana's eyes widened in shock. She did not expect her friend, who just woke up in a hospital bed, to ask her about her love life. "Oh, c'mon. Don't act so surprised. You wouldn't shut up when you found out she was staying at your house and that your first weekend was going to be spent alone with her. You didn't already mess things up, did you?"

"Okay, I think we need to get my dad back to check on you since you might be-"

"Oh, shut up. Talk."

"Okay, fine. We did kiss." Quinn's face lit up at the admission but was confused due to the dejected tone in Santana's voice.

"Then what's wrong? Was it bad?"

"No, it wasn't. It was perfect. It was…" Santana shut her mouth because she knew Quinn would not stop teasing her about how whipped for the small brunette she really was. 

 _God, when did I turn into this romantic sap?_  

Santana then filled Quinn in on what happened later.

"Oh, wow. What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. Don't you have some of that wise advice that you're so known for?” Quinn simply chuckled at the response.

"I do, actually." _Of course she does._ "I think you just need to give her some time to adjust. It can't be easy opening up about the hell you've been living at your own home. I did tell you about my dad and it was terrifying even though I would trust you with my life." Santana nodded and waited for Quinn to continue. "Imagine how hard it is for her when all these people who have given her nothing but crap before suddenly support her. She's scared to let anyone in and rightfully so. She already reciprocates your feelings, which you said she was doubtful you had, so you just have to be there for her and prove to her this is real. She'll tell you when she's ready. Good things come to those who wait."

"I hate it when you're right." Santana simply said and Quinn smirked. "But thanks."

"Don't mention it. I'll still be here when you fuck up somehow."

"Oh, shut up. Don't get so cocky, Fabray."

"You'd be a hypocrite for discouraging cockiness." Santana didn't know what to say. "Exactly."

"How the hell are you giving me advice when you're the one in a damn hospital bed?" Quinn simply shrugged with a smirk on her face. "Don't you think this means you're off the hook for what you did though."

"What'd I do this time?" Quinn asked in a defensive tone.

"You didn't tell me Rachel isn't a fucking vegan anymore but still made me spend all my allowance on food for her."

"Oh. That." Quinn chuckled at the memory.

"You're laughing now but we'll see if you still have that little smile on your face when your bacon starts tasting funny." Quinn gasped as her eyes widened. 

_I knew this would get a reaction out of her._

"Don't you dare mess around with my bacon or so help me I will make sure you never eat another breadstick in your life, Santana Lopez."

"Hey! There's no need to drag my breadsticks into this. At least they taste good."

"Remind me why we're friends again."

"Because I'm the only one who tolerates you."

"I'd say it's the other way around."

"Okay, I'm going to leave now only because I'd only be down to jump you if it were a fair fight."

"It is a fair fight with me in a hospital bed."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that to avoid any future drama." Santana was halfway through the door when she heard Quinn call for her. "What?"

"Remember what I said, okay?"

"I will." Santana shot Quinn a smile which was gladly returned by the blonde. The Latina made her way back to the waiting room. _I'm getting really tired of this hospital._ She immediately went over to the two friends who were waiting for her. It was clear Rachel was still uncomfortable around Brittany considering what happened. "Rachel and I are going to head home. Need a ride, Brittany?"

"No, I think I'll just keep Quinn company."

Both Rachel and Santana said their goodbyes to Brittany before leaving the hospital. 

* * *

During the ride back at home, Santana couldn't help but think that Quinn didn't even bring up Finn.

It didn't come as a shocker that she didn't ask about her mom since Judy is usually too drunk to get out of the house but Finn was her boyfriend. He was there when Rafael attacked her.

Santana still asked herself why she hadn’t dumped him yet. Quinn Fabray deserved much better than what Finn Hudson has to offer. Same thing goes for Brittany with Artie. 

She shook her head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. 

 _I should probably focus on my love life before I stick my nose in my friends’._  

Santana had no idea how but she was going to be patient, a trait she's not so famous for. She knew Quinn was right but she wasn't used to actually having deep feelings for someone. Last one was Brittany and look at how that turned out. She was new to all of this.

As soon as Santana parked the car in the driveway, Rachel quickly got out and practically ran to the house. 

Santana furrowed her eyebrows but eventually followed her now roommate in once she recovered from her initial confusion. She wasn't in the living room so Santana went upstairs to the guest room find just who she was looking for in front of her opened closet.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Rachel slightly jumped at the sound of Santana's voice but that wasn't the Latina's concern. "Are you crying?"

"No. I… I was just about to pack my things because I'd hate to be more of a bother to you and your generous family. Don't worry. I'm certain I'll find somewhere else to live and you can stop pretending like you or anyone else cares." Santana stepped in front of Rachel as soon as the words left her mouth.

"The hell you are. There's no way I'm letting you leave." Rachel looked down to hide her tears. "Is this about what happened to Quinn? Because you know that wasn't your fault since it wasn't your dad who did it. And even if it was, you shouldn't-"

"I have every right to blame myself!" Rachel suddenly snapped, wet tear tracks visible on both of her cheeks. "He's still out there. That could've been you in that hospital bed and I'm not sitting around, waiting for that to happen. Leaving is the best option. Just let me go. I'm not worth it."

But she didn't let her go. In fact, Rachel burst into tears at the end of her sentence. 

Santana didn't say anything. She simply wrapped her arms around the fragile girl and pulled her close before leading her towards the bed as she cried her eyes out. 

They lied down on the bed, Santana softly stroking Rachel's arm before opening her mouth to sing for the sobbing girl for the second time.

She could get used to staying like this. Under better circumstances of course.

 

_I never felt so broken down_

_Never felt so alone until I hit the ground_

_We all have our ups, our downs_

_Our stories that we hold that go untold_

 

_And so we just lay down_

_Knocked out_

_Waiting for the cure_

_You're not alone_

 

_When you look down_

_Does it seem so far away?_

_Are the names so hard to take?_

_Great escape_

 

_We are not so different, I can tell_

_'Cause I've stood right where you're standing_

_Bruised, battered, beaten, broken down_

_Wore the frown_

 

_But I'm here to tell you, that you are loved_

_You are loved_

_That you are loved_

_You are loved_

 

_Happiness can seem to be so distant_

_While tissues fill the trash_

_People push you down but they're not worth it_

_Don't be deceived again_

 

_They play with feelings like they're meaningless to you_

_Oh oh, oh oh oh oh_

_Check my pulse_

_Now let us review_

 

_When you look down_

_Does it seem so far away?_

_Are the names so hard to take?_

_Great escape_

 

_We are not so different, I can tell_

_'Cause I've stood right where you're standing_

_Bruised, battered, beaten, broken down_

_Wore the frown_

 

_But I'm here to tell you, that you are loved_

_You are loved_

_That you are loved_

_You are loved_

 

_It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem_

_We all have issues not knowing how to solve them_

_And when you feel you're at your worst_

_Remember all these words_

 

_When you look down_

_Does it seem so far away?_

_Are the names so hard to take?_

_Great escape_

 

_We are not so different, I can tell_

_'Cause I've stood right where you're standing_

_Bruised, battered, beaten, broken down_

_Wore the frown_

 

_But I'm here to tell you, that you are loved_

_You are loved_

_That you are loved_

_You are loved_

_You are loved_

 

By the end of the song, Santana figured Rachel probably fell asleep since the sobbing had come to a halt. 

She tried to move without disturbing her but was pulled closer by the clearly awake brunette. Their eyes met and soon enough so did their lips. It was a soft and gentle kiss. 

It was so simple yet Santana had never felt anything like it. There was no tongue or anything like that. It was the perfect kiss. Santana had to bite back a whimper when Rachel pulled away.

"Ask me."

"What?"

“Ask me the question I didn't give you a proper answer to before." Santana's eyes slightly widened. 

_Could she mean…_

"Rachel Berry, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song is you are loved by set it off and this chapter is dedicated to the #1 pezberry stan twitter user lopevans ily skylar <3


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